I joined about two months ago. I had been married to a addict for 10 years. He is a “functioning addict”. Meaning he always carried a job, was a good dad, and used “recreationally.” This was never without consequences to our relationship though and I lost myself in the process. As a result of his addictions he lost me. After 14 years of co-dependency, dysfunction, toxicity, PTSD from many drug/alcohol fueled situations, I am no longer in love with him. We had many good years, two amazing kids, but on my journey I can no longer be with him. We are no longer together as a traditional married couple, but are Working on being friends and co-parents And eventually moving separately. In many ways, I traded my soul for that relationship ship. My co-dependency got so bad that at one point I began using drugs and drinking excessively as a means to “control” the situation. Many resentments built up over time. During those years through using and joining in on the party scene, I also got involved with now my best friend and soul mate who Is an end stage alcoholic. Apparently, my journey in life is about breaking my co-dependent patterns. I have always been with men who use. This particular person is my soul counter part and love of my life. After several years of complete chaos I found myself with a more severe addict than my husband. He is a severe, end-stage alcoholic. I was getting sicker in my co-dependent ways. So this year, i had had enough. I got therapy, started going to Alanon, started working on self-care and growing spiritually, and joined the Village. My soon to be ex-husband has not changed his ways. Losing me hasn’t changed him. He’s sad about what happened to us, but hasn’t done anything to fix what ruined the relationship. I’m at peace with that, but would still like to see him clean it up for our kids. My best friend/love of my life is currently in rehab fighting for his life. And I’m here working on loving myself, setting boundaries, and recovering as a co-dependent while supporting my best friend through recovery and setting boundaries and creating a new relationship with my soon to be ex. My current S/O and I are very in love with each other and are hoping through recovery and time we will one day be together. My biggest fear is that he will relapse when he gets out. He’s doing great, he wants recovery, but outside of inpatient is a whole different world and I have to care for myself regardless of the outcome. I’m here for support and to bounce ideas off of people in this community. I have learned a lot but I have a ways to grow.
