Am I wrong? About sobriety?

recovery

#1

Am i completely wrong in the stance that if a person wants something bad enough…if they are truly sick of their own bullshit…that they will seek help? Especially if they have before? Continued use to me…only means you are undecided. That you haven’t hit that low just yet, and that you don’t want to leave a job, ‘friends,’ etc. to do what you KNOW (and admit to knowing) must be done for yourself and loved ones?


#2

I love the aha moment on this topic that @momentsandlight shared in this post here

I wholeheartedly believe that they feel the harm of use, it’s so hard to stop because their brain functioning is impaired and admitting they’ve lost control is SCARY!

Motivation changes over time. It’s been my mission to practice being there for the moments he was ready to take action on positive change, helping to show him it’s worth it, that he’s worth it and that he’ll get there!


#3

Hey there @Oldenufftoknowbetter, great question. I want to think out loud for a second - and what I’m going to type may not be a direct correlation with substance use, but something I’ve been thinking about. Lately I feel like I’ve been having the hardest time with sugar. Like I just want sweets all. the. damn. time. I can totally see its effect on my body, on my mindset as it relates to my body, in how comfortable I feel with my husband, and on and on, but I still had a big piece of chocolate last night. Like, so much bigger than I needed. I don’t know that there’s a point here, other than what @polly mentions above about motivation being hard. I think I need to set a small goal for myself, and probably need to enlist my husband to hold me able/accountable to it. Instead of cutting it out all together, maybe I start with ‘treats only every other day’ or ‘no snacking after 8pm’ (actually, that second one sounds like a better option to me) - or something!

Wondering, how might you encourage positive behavior in your husband? Has he done something today that’s worth acknowledging?!


#9

Hi @katie Your sugar cravings are a real addiction. I’ve done countless research on food addiction & cravings. It’s usually cravings for sugary & “bad” carbs, like white pasta, rice, breads, bake goods, candy, cheese, ice cream, etc. We all tend to think we are just weak, & or we just don’t have self control. Now that can be part of the issue, & many times we self medicate by reaching for “comfort foods” as listed above. What I’ve found repeatedly is that it’s an overgrowth of Candida/Yeast in our gut!! Our Gut is called our 2nd Brain, because it controls our body, feelings. organs, sleep, energy, inflammation, hormones, skin issues, the list is endless!! You would be Amazed at how the above issues go away with the cravings, when you have Good healthy gut control. I’m also living proof. Even our weight (Too high or low) is a problem due to stress that’s releasing too much cortisol again due to overgrowth of Candida/Yeast. Don’t beat yourself up about it!! If you’d like more info, I’m happy to help you get your gut under control. Over 75% or higher of people have this very problem. Most have no idea how good their body is supposed to feel, or why they have issues like the above meantioned. There’s an answer, & it’s not some crazy diet!! You won’t need anyone pushing, scolding, or guilting you to do better. Anyway, I’ve made this way too long. Feel free to reach out to me, if you’d like more information. ::slightly_smiling_face:
Gina


#6

I don’t think there is a solid right or wrong answer when it comes to recovery. I know that addiction is dark and powerful. My husband has described it to me as wearing blinders - once he has the decision in his head to use, that’s the only thing he can see. All reason goes out the window. It is what has made him tell ridiculous lies just to cover up his use. Even later in recovery, when he has slips, he said that there is a voice that tells him to stop but there is an excuse for everything - sometimes as simple as “This time will be different” and he is convinced. It’s not that he doesn’t want to get better. He has to fight those urges all the time. Just as @polly mentioned that motivation changes over time, the brain - specifically the area that makes decisions - also needs time to heal after repeated substance use.


#10

This is awesome info @Sasygal22. Thanks so much for sharing it and affirming that my struggle to breakup with sugar is legit! :wink:

I think I share this experience here to reiterate what @polly says about motivation being hard, but! I want to be careful to not equate sugar cravings with something more life-threatening like substance cravings.

And now I’m going to google gut health!


#7

I am very iffy on this topic as well, a part of me says “he can’t help it, its the addiction not him, etc…” But I get frustrated like I’m just making excuses for him. I feel like he just flat out loves to be an addict and play the victim, and using drugs lets him have an excuse for playing victim.


#8

Yeah. I feel ALL of that. And i just vent- posted some nice, additional thoughts on that. And im certain they weren’t popular. But MY addiction is people like him. Fixing them. helping them. Being there for them. But i am truly fed up as now i have a.5 ur old child invoved, and I’m in no mood to continue this cycle.