Experience with sober living homes after rehab

[LLN]

Hi all, my serious boyfriend of 3 years ( we had planned to get engaged in the spring 2021 and married in late summer 2021) entered rehab for OxyContin abuse two weeks ago. He had been in “lazy recovery” for ~1.5 years after an IOP program but recently told me that he has been using again for the past 6 months and wanted to go to an inpatient setting.

He has been doing well in the inpatient setting and is almost halfway through the 30 days. I am talking with his family and counselor to determine the best after care plan for him. Do any of you have experiences with sober living homes? What are your thoughts and the pros/cons? He has a corporate job that he took a 30 day leave of absence from, but likely needs to return after rehab ( he can work remotely easily due to Covid).

[Karilyn]

Hi @LLN,

I think sober living facilities can be great! Of course like anything, it depends on the specific one. I don’t know if there’s one near you, but Tree House Recovery is amazing. The programs they have and the whole mission is fantastic. Some sober living places are very hands off and just a place to live, some are very active about supporting each person in recovery and providing coaching and therapy and work out plans and really encouraging men to tap into their confident selves and focus on leadership and purpose.

I’d also say, though, that it’s really up to your boyfriend and it’s up to him to decide how he will manage his recovery. I remember doing all of this research for my partner when he was about to leave inpatient treatment, but I realized I was “helping” him so much because I really wanted to have some control over what he did in recovery. I wanted to “make sure” he was in the best position possible to be successful. But I couldn’t make him do anything, and in the end he chose not to go to sober living, and I had to accept that! We’re all adults who get to decide what we do with our lives.

Hope that helps, and be sure to keep getting support for yourself, no matter what he chooses to do!