We have paid to fix or replace my son’s car at least 4 times in the past 6 years or so after he got into wrecks (luckily no one has been harmed). He was not under the influence in most if not all of these times, but driving too aggressively or being careless/distracted.
I was ready to stop paying for cars, but my husband convinced me to go get another inexpensive car for him to drive to get back and forth to work. My son has kept his job for a couple of years and pays almost all of his own bills. He is on medication assisted treatment, suboxone. Hasn’t kept him from relapsing at times, but it has allowed him some sustained periods where he is stable.
I think back to 12-step “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results” - true confession, I’ve always thought this statement was rigged. Often we do make the same mistakes over and over, or the same pitfalls keep coming up. That’s the nature of life, in my experience. Also, I don’t expect any particular outcome!
This is in the category of maybe it sounds crazy to others, but it made enough sense for us to do it. It seems to us that the greater good is for our son to have job stability. I’m throwing it out there as a discussion topic for the community, because I think I would be considered an enabler in my old 12-step group, but I’m not coming to that judgment myself.