Has anyone else's loved one quit their drug of choice and kept drinking alcohol safely?

cocaine
alcohol
#1

My husband has struggled with many addictions over his life time and the worst has been cocaine. After going to rehab for that addiction over 3 years ago he’s now doing pretty great. He still drinks alcohol, though he didn’t for the first year after rehab. And not all the time but when he does he definitely has the tendency to drink a lot more than I do.

I went from a huge college partier / drinker and early career in advertising drinker to now barely having more than 1 or max 2 glasses. And sort of avoiding party situations.

Anyway, I took the subway with an AA frequenter last week and she looked at me like I was nuts when I said my husband still drinks. She made it seem like it was not possible to have struggled with addiction and to then be able to drink anything and be ok.

It really got in my head. So I’m interested in if anyone is in a similar situation to me with my husband and his usage now. OR if anyone has experienced this kind of judgement feeling. I know she meant to be kind, but it really felt pretty harsh and put a lot of things into question. Like - am I needing to intervene seriously and coach my husband towards sobriety? UGh. I’ve done that once and that is a painful process :wink:

Sharing love and light after that egh! x

#2

I think this is such a great question @polly! I have always wondered about this myself. My boyfriend is a recovering heroin/opiate addict. When he was in rehab, he was required to see a counselor to work through the root of his addiction. I know he spoke to his counselor about this and we have also had a conversation about it. He still drinks when we go out with his friends or when we have company over. However, I notice that he always seems to be in control of his drinking. Alcohol has never really been a problem for him. There are nights where we will have a glass of wine with dinner but other nights when we go out to an event, we know we are going to drink quite a bit and will make arrangements for transportation to make sure we are both being safe and responsible.

I know that many people in AA will not agree with this. In fact, both of us have been judged for allowing him to drink. I have come to learn that every recovering addict is an individual. Just like how each of their stories are different, their road to recovery will vary as well. Just from what I observed, alcohol does not seem to affect his addiction like opiates or heroin do. People are going to judge no matter what, but they don’t really know you or your husband. They are only speaking from their own experience. Sometimes it’s best to just say “thank you for your wisdom” and move on.

I hope that makes sense. My thoughts are a bit scattered this morning.

Sending hugs! <3

#3

Thank you so much for sharing this @Selfcare31 I tend to feel pretty confident in what I think is working for us and that conversation definitely shook me up. It means a lot to feel understood here :slight_smile: <3

I still think his alcohol use can be a little worrying at times but in comparison to where we’ve been and with all the data of how much more conscious he is and how much he’s grown I feel like this is something that will be grown through too! I hope to see him continue to drink more and more consciously and that it can be something he can continue to be moderate with :slight_smile: