How can you be sure that someone is high


Believe it or not…other than avoidance, I can always tell my sons are using when they text me “Love u” or “Love you”. It breaks my heart that the words that are supposed to be so endearing have actually become key words to tip me off to their bad decisions in progress. But I have had to train myself to not get mad at those words, instead stop what I’m doing and pray immediately for them and read into their words and force myself to believe that even in their likely non-sober minds, that they still do love me even in their addiction and even if their actions don’t display much love.


@Thinkstet thank you for your encouraging words! I believe all the way down to the deepest depths of my soul that things will not always be stuck in an addiction rut. I believe once the boys mature a little more and their brains fully develop, they will somehow just snap out of this drug nonsense…but then my internal pessimist that I strive to keep locked away in timeout, whispers to me that the boys will struggle with their cravings for the remainder of their lives. It’s such an internal emotional battle that I did not volunteer for…I was merely drafted into battle, but I’ll never give up hope for my sons and our family’s healing :heart:️‍🩹.


Dear @JoMama
This just breaks my hear to read, and I really like how you’ve reframed the situation by using it as a moment to pray for them (and yourself at that time too, I reckon). Your boys know they do love you, and they might be full of conflicts about using, knowing how much it upsets you. Or not. I don’t know, I know my son tells me he loves me a lot. And now I am remembering that more fully, and he is showing me more fully, too.

He’s not “cured”- there is still a long life to live, but his decision making brain is way more online than it was in his 20s. He is 31, and making a lot of small, good decisions. They’re starting to add up and he is proud of himself. Of course, I don’t want to “scare the fairies” and be boastful, I’m aware how tentative everything is, but I do want to give you hope that it won’t always be like this. Keep loving them and keep praying and hoping for the best.


@Thinkstet nothing wrong with a little old school Journey…nothing quite like Steve Perry to deliver inspirational lyrics! Thanks for the suggestion….I’ll definitely give it a watch!


atta girl! Don’t stop believin’ hold on to that feeling! Wait it’s Journey 1981! Nothing stays the same. I really liked the STUTZ documentary with Jonah Hill on NETFLIX which is darling and My son said it really resonated with him, too. It’s only about 90 minutes, but I watched it with him and it was a springboard to conversation about constant work, uncertainty, and pain. The Part X really spoke to my son- maybe you can watch it yourself and then decide if you can watch it with your sons. :peace_symbol:


@Thinkstet, I just googled that documentary - I’ve not heard of it but am adding to my watchlist!


It’s so crazy to me that they consider fellow users their “friends” imo. I’m the only sober one in his life. I think they make him feel good and flattered and don’t “look down” on him for being an addict. He’s always complaining about them being trash or losers, yet nothing changes.


I’m curious how many films and documentaries are out there on addiction and about the family members

I know there are quite a few. Lois Wilson’s story is Love is Not Enough and watch it for the costumes as well as the story. It may be in the library. If I wasn’t so short on time I’d do a SEARCH for some. It is comforting to know it is a problem for so many while at the same time, it is absolutely tragic. If only it was just me and my family doing this



“Beautiful Boy” with Steve Carell and Timothee Chalemet is very good. It’s based on the book by David Sheff about a father and his son who is addicted to meth. I highly recommend it! I watched with my husband and he said it was a very accurate portrayal of someone struggling with addiction. The book is also very good.


Love Callahan. I have 2 of his books.

I hope this is OK with the administration. If not, take it down and I won’t repeat it.

Hollywood has been in love with stories of addiction because there are so many addicts there. And often the addiction is seen publicly now.
Somehow, I find it good to see the crazies in cinematic form

Great Movies about Alcoholism and Drug Addiction
Just visit these I am too tired to itemize Links:

My own recommendations ( probably missing a few here)
Days of Wine and Roses (1962)
Both Jack Lemmon and Lee Remick received Oscar nods for their performances in this classic. Lemmon is Joe Clay, an alcoholic PR man, who meets Kristy Arnesen who does not drink. He works to turn her into a drinking partner and eventually they marry.
Drinking affects their marriage and eventually, he ends up in the hospital with delirium tremens. He becomes sober, but the woman he introduced to alcohol fails in the battle to stay off alcohol.
As a piece of trivia here, this film was sing-songwriter Bill Withers’ inspiration for his immortal song,” Ain’t No Sunshine.”
IMDB Rating: 7.8/10

I think these next 2 give me perspective on what addiction is like.

My Name Is Bill W. (1989) TV Movie`1989 1h 40m
The story of Bill Wilson and the founding of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Director Daniel Petrie Writer William G. Borchert
Stars James Woods JoBeth Williams James Garner

When Love Is Not Enough: The Lois Wilson Story (2010) PG 1h 32m
Based on the true story of the enduring but troubled love between Lois Wilson, co-founder of Al-Anon, and her alcoholic husband Bill Wilson, co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Director John Kent Harrison Writers William G. Borchert(book “When Love Is Not Enough: The Lois Wilson Story”)Camille Thomasson
Stars Winona Ryder Barry Pepper John Bourgeois
Rating 6.5

These next are just plain beautiful.

Hoosiers (1986)
PG | 114 min | Drama, Sport 7.4 Rate 76 Metascore
A coach with a checkered past and a local drunk train a small town high school basketball team to become a top contender for the championship.
Director: David Anspaugh | Stars: Gene Hackman, Barbara Hershey, Dennis Hopper, Sheb Wooley

Tender Mercies (1983)
NRC | 92 min | Drama, Music 7.3 Rate 76 Metascore
A broken-down, middle-aged country singer gets a new wife, reaches out to his long-lost daughter, and tries to put his troubled life back together.
Director: Bruce Beresford | Stars: Robert Duvall, Tess Harper, Betty Buckley, Wilford Brimley

Let me know if I’m allowed to post the whole list somewhere. I imagine there are many, many more



There are some decent lists if you google addiction + movie, then you can scan the synopses to see something’s up your alley. I recently enjoyed "Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far on Foot" This is a 2018 American comedy-drama film directed by Gus Van Sant and based upon the memoir of the same name by John Callahan .

This is my sole personal opinion. You may not dig it- but It’s very sweet in some ways, and real in others. Stars Joaquin Phoenix, Jonah Hill, Rooney Mara, Jack Black.


Another that I LOVE is When a Man Loves a Woman!


My favorite is Four Good Days. This one is about drug addiction in a daughter.


Awesome movie thanks! :four_leaf_clover:


I haven’t watched many movies but I am a YouTube fanatic when it comes to learning about anything…including dope (because I am clueless). “Dopesick Nation” is melodramatic, but also brutally honest in-your-face situations of addicts. “From Detox to Rehab” is another one I have found interesting stories on. “Soft White Underbelly” also has some testimonials that are tough to hear but drug use is an ugly truth that we all well versed on by now, unfortunately.

I learned more about heroin and fentanyl on the YouTube than I ever cared to know….but absolutely needed to know.


I’m waiting until after surgery for Four Good Days. I sit in meetings and hear about how the government doesn’t take care of the substance user or their families. Now THAT is something I wish I had control over.
From Detox to Rehab” & “Soft White Underbelly” I can add to the list.
There are a few indigenous ones too.



Is this movie about drug addiction? Would be interested to see it.