How did you find that right person to give you the reality check?

self-care
communication
support
#1

Someone who understands enough to be empathetic and helpful.

#2

I found the right person for me by being very open with people in my close support circle about what I was going through. A few colleagues, friends, and my family knew about how stressed I was with my brother’s constant text messages and would remind me that I had a right to turn notifications off for him, ignore him, or (this is what I found most helpful) let him know that I was at work every day, had meetings and was never at my phone, and to please stop sending excessive texts.
Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. But that was always better than not having any boundary! Another benefit of collaborating with the rest of the family was that in times when I couldn’t handle it or maintain my own boundaries, I could let my father know and he would take charge and this allowed me to get to a better emotional state!

#3

I have a couple people in my life who are better at dealing with situations without bringing emotions into it. I tend to know what is right and what path needs to be taken but then get caught up in the emotions of it all and want to give in. We all know the importance of Following through with what we say. The trick is not to threaten something you are not able to follow through with. The other side of that is that everybody can tell you what they think is best but in the end YOU and only you have to be OK with the outcome of the choices you make. I told my son more than once that if he used drugs again he couldn’t live at home. But then I kept giving him another chance. The fact was I was not ready to live with the consequences/guilt if something happened to him because of kicking him out. He had overdosed three times yet I still felt I could have some control over his addiction and could try and protect him from himself. It took me awhile to come to terms with the fact that I was enabling him and I could not control what he did, nor would I be responsible for his actions if I followed through.