How do you know when to intervene?

cocaine
communication
alcohol
#1

I know one of my friend’s drinking is getting out of control but I am not that close to her and she’s never talked to me about it. I don’t know whether my approaching her will help or cause more friction. I can’t just stand back and watch when I know she needs help but I also don’t think it’s best coming from me.

#2

The more we talk about substance use and enquire to understand usage behavior the better - the more we do it in a way that is not judgmental nor tied to moral failing the better. Do you know other’s who care about this individual and perhaps have a closer relationship to them? Might be worth getting together or on the phone with some of them and finding some allies to make a plan of how to start the conversation with your friend.

Once you decide together who it would be best coming from:

  1. Pick the timing, remember that it won’t just be one conversation so start it small, and ask for permission (if you don’t get it today then try another day, or ask the friend to come up with a time they’d prefer)
  2. Start always with - this is coming from a place of love and care about your friend’s wellbeing - say it out loud and repeat it
  3. Other friends can plan to pick up the slack - meaning, what are activities your friend enjoys that don’t involve drinking, plan these. Try to bring a highlight back to simple pleasures and connected time.
  4. What’s causing the pain? Remember this isn’t just about a substance (if you remove the substance the problems don’t just go away!), it’s about an underlying pain. Can you help your friend vocalize what’s troubling her - could be a job, a relationship, purpose, friendships.
  5. Learning a bit about this underlying pain you could then help the friend think through some small steps to shift the pain, or reframe the problem - remember asking questions that help your friend come up with solutions vs coming up with solutions will always take hold and work best.

And repeat! Change takes time - like heaps of it.

You’re a good friend, definitely get more people involved to help if you can!

Let us know how you get on :slight_smile: