My boyfriend has been in rehab for about 5 weeks. He was supposed to get phone calls at 28 days. I haven’t heard anything from him, not a response to my few letters I’ve sent, or a phone call. I know he’s working on himself, but I thought I would at least hear something by now. He told his grandmother two weeks ago when she visited to let me know he wasn’t ready for visitors yet. He told me he loved me before going in, but since then have heard nothing. I’m not sure if I should continue to support to move on. It feels like he’s going to break up with me, but I don’t know if it’s too soon for me to have these thoughts.
How long is no contact normal in rehab?
Jacqui
#2
Hi @Lbenton152, how are you doing today? Have you heard from your boyfriend? Good to hear that he’s made it to rehab and is taking steps toward recovery. I’m sorry to hear you’re in this position. It can be a lonely and confusing place to be, for both you and your loved one.
If your question is, “what’s normal?” there is no easy answer. Every person is different, every relationship is different, every recovery is different. You’re not alone in not knowing what to do and feeling lost - if you’ve looked around this site at all, you’ve probably read some similar stories.
What I can tell you is that there is hope. Early recovery is a super difficult time for everyone involved. He’s working through some really tough things right now, and his brain is healing. Many people find it helpful to take this time apart to focus on yourself. Reaching out for support here is a first step. What are some other ways you can look inward, decide what it is you want from this relationship, and what it is you need if you want to support him.
Here are a couple of videos from @Jane and @erica, discussing how you can manage while they’re in rehab: