How long is this worry and the ups and downs going to last?

relapse
self-care
mental-health
#1

I’m thankful for the ability to help, but how long is this going to last? It’s been years already.

#3

For me I don’t think it will ever go away. Once my son started on this distructive path I think my life changed permanently to an underlying fear that there will come a day that he goes to far again . For me the trick is to keep reminding myself that his choices are completely out of my control. I no longer allow myself to get sucked up in the drama of his addiction. I try to live my life. Sometimes mentally preparing for the worst and hoping for the best.

#6

Well said - hope for the best, prepare for the worst

#12

I too feel like I will never be worry free .Everytime i see or hear a text from my son my body goes into distress. I am afraid to enjoy myself or plan a vacation because of the prior times when i have they have been thwarted by him.I also have tremendous resentment which i know is so destructive im currently waiting to get my husband and i into therapy until then im here and so glad someone reached out and sent me this site

#5

I’ve been on this awful journey for 6 years now. My 21 year old son is currently 5 months sober today. For me personally, it is a day to day worry. I do, however, work hard on remaining positive, and hopeful. Some days are easier than others but the fear never goes away. I hope that with time, him growing older and staying sober, that the worry will lessen…

#13

@annac I know what you mean about being on edge, and I can recall the MANY holidays spoiled by addiction. Thank goodness that 3 years into recovery things are looking very different and holidays are becoming reliable and enjoyable again. Thanks for reminding me how far we have come. And my hope is that sharing my story may provide a little cheer and confidence that we can get through this together and that the future can be bright <3 sending love.

#7

Agree - it takes time to change the insinctual worry that does get edged away as positive behaviors become more the norm

#9

Yay! 5 months clean is great!

#8

I know it will be a life time journey. For 5 years now we have been on this sobriety roller coaster. My husband has been sober for over 1 year now and although the worries subside, if triggered by a suspicion, the worries come right back. Just temporarily because I have to tell myself all is good, otherwise I would not be able to function. I learned that I could not control his addiction and it is all on him, but letting go is so hard when there is so much at stake. 18 years of marriage and 2 amazing daughters.

#11

5 months sober is awesome, @1Fitmom! (And hopefully - fingers crossed - it’s more like 8 months now!) Anything you’re feeling particularly positive or hopeful about these days?

#14

I’ve been in sobriety a number of years. It’s difficult when you spend so much of your time worrying about your loved ones. The truth is all the worrying does not help you or anyone else. This is the time to focus on something else, perhaps your own growth. An Al-Anon program would be very helpful with that :gift_heart::gift_heart:

#10

You’re certainly not alone on the roller coaster, @Cooleys4. Any practical suggestions to share with others on how you make sure worries come back only temporarily?

For instance, do you have a mantra, or breathing technique, or a friend you call? I’m sure others will benefit from your experience & insight!