Hello, I am dealing with my friend who is an alcoholic. She has struggled with this for many years. About a year ago she went through a breakup and since then she has been on a bender like no other. She is 38 is not married and does not have kids. She used to be a bartender and clean houses for work, but now she only cleans, and because of the heavy drinking has trouble doing that. She has nothing to keep her responsible anymore. She admits to being an alcoholic, and she keeps saying she is going to get a job so she will feel obligated to drink less. She is so depressed and defeated that she can’t even fill out an application. I know that a job won’t make it better and that is just an excuse. I would like to get information together for a rehab option… I was hoping if she knew where she could go to get help she might go. She has no money or insurance. How can she get help without money? If something doesn’t change for her soon something bad is going to happen… It’s horrible watching your friend kill herself. Need to do something to help her. Any advice would be appreciated.
Elisha
How to help my best friend who is an alcoholic?
Our motivation to make changes, like reducing harmful substance use, can change by the minute, so you’re right to think that it’s good to have an action plan / some options ready for when your friend is ready or needs to get professional help.
Will you let us know what region you’re in so the community could share options?
Thank you Jane. For taking the time to respond. I live in KUNA idaho… it is a small town near Boise Idaho ( state capital). Since she has no real obligations here I’m sure if she agreed to go to rehab she wouldn’t be tied to being in Idaho. Thank you again for your time.
I couldn’t stand by watching my best friend’s downward spiral with cocaine and alcohol - I could see the pain he was in and it was so hard to figure out what to do and how to help. Sounds like your friend is in a lot of emotional pain, and using substances really messes with the brain and is a very hard habit to kick. Though it is possible to make changes, it’s hard to take the steps to change because removing the alcohol or drug of choice leaves the person feeling depressed since they’re no longer getting that ‘high’ / pleasure from the substance, and it takes a while for normal activities to feel pleasurable again.
I’m just sharing some things learned in supporting my best friend (now husband) through some of the darkest days…maybe 2.5year downward spiral. Do know you’re not alone 
<3
Also, I totally get what you’re saying about how a job isn’t going to fix her problems. But one area I didn’t listen to my now husband enough in was how his whole situation was so depressing to him and so he used substances to cope with that. I kept saying, let’s just get rid of the substances then we’ll focus on what you’re not happy with in your life (job etc.) In hindsight I realize that hearing him out about the problem with his job, and focusing on and helping him with some small actions he could take to make his situation better may have been more helpful than telling him to just remove substances. That was too hard for him at the time. But helping improve his life situation may have helped open up some space to feel better and more motivated to use less substances or get help.
Wow. How wonderful you were not only able to help your best friend threw such a tough time and then to be able marry him is amazing… That is a love that many will never have . I agree that sometimes the things around you like a job or certain friends can add to the problem… I would like to have her live with me to change her surroundings and influences but I have 2 daughters and cannot risk them being exposed to her illness. I have to put them first. I have tried to help her change her environment and Evan went so far as to bring her applications … She just can’t seem to get out of this. Not sure what else to do but find her options for help… thank you so much for sharing. It gives me hope that she may find her way again like your husband
Hi Elisha, so glad you’re here and that you’re keen to help your friend. I can’t tell you how many people I talk to give up on friends because it becomes too hard. Know that your friendship is important to her recovery, but also that it’s OK (and advisable) for your to look after your own self care too so that you can stay a strong support through the long recovery journey. It can also help to involve other friends and family who care to share the load because it does take a big emotional toll.
Thank you for your comments… after reading the supporting comment from everyone I realize that finding others that are deal with similar things would be comforting for me. It feels good to to hear that something good can come out of all this… thank you so much for taking the time for me