He says he wants to change his life, but is not doing anything to change it. The phrase “When nothing changes, nothing changes. “ applies here.
How to help someone struggling with addiction who says they want to change but isn't taking action on it?
Jane
#3
A research study names six stages on the continuum of change. Our desire to change can change daily or more frequently, another way of thinking about it is that we can shift along the continuum.
It’s helpful to consider where our loved ones are at with their desire to change in any of our interactions with them. Understanding the stages, and which one our loved one is at, allows us know when certain conversations will be most effective.
Another way to learn about the stages of change is to think about this as if it were a change we were going to make for ourselves, like go to the gym more, or get to bed earlier. It’s similar for our loved one and changes in substance use.
erica
#4
Here is a more detailed explanation of each stage of change:
- Pre-contemplation: no intention of taking action anytime soon (next 6 months). Oblivious that behavior is a problem or that it brings negative consequences *conversations about change at this stage may cause more harm than good
- Contemplation: Intend to start healthy behavior sometime soon (next 6 months). Can see that the behavior might be a problem, or theres good reason to make a change, and mindful of the pros and cons of changing behavior with almost equal emphasis on both
- Preparation: Ready to take action within the next 30 days. Small steps in direction of behavior change, and believe that changing our behavior can lead to a healthier life
- Action: conversations should be about action. in the last 6 months behavior has changed in some way and plan to keep moving forward in change direction towards healthier behaviors
- Maintenance: behavior has been maintained for more than 6 months and there is an intention to fully sustain this change. Work is done to prevent relapse to earlier stages
The activity: ask where your loved one feels they are is in the stages of change, and what collaboratively could be done to move to the next stage of change. Or, you can ask on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the least motivated and 10 being the most motivated) where they feel they are in terms of their motivation to change. Depending on the number they provide, work together to brainstorm ways in which the motivation can be enhanced, or if there’s high motivation, discuss options for what can be done with this desire to change. When you have the conversation remember to emphasize that you are allies in this, and you both want the same thing: for them (and us) to feel connected, alive, and thriving, so we are on the same team working collaboratively, aiming for the same result.