So last time I was here, about a week ago, I had mentioned how my ex comes over at least once a week and my feelings seem numb. Well he came over a couple of days ago, I have not seen him for about 10 days before that, my heart was broken seeing him, he’s so small, lost so much weight and looked tired, I let him stay, I just wanted to let him eat whatever he wanted and wash up and sleep… Next day he left but called me and wanted to come over again, I said yes, but when he finally came over I found him high in bathroom, I couldn’t take it, it brought me back to the hectic times, I didn’t yell though, I sat him down and spoke some kind of life to him cuz the high wasn’t strong so he understood what I was saying, so he decided to enter rehab, they didn’t have beds and now it’s been 2 days on waiting list for bed and he’s here due to a huge snowstorm we’re having, but I can’t seem to stay relaxed while he’s here, I feel like he could get high any second cuz he’s sneaky. I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt without stress but my mind is all over the place, how do I deal with this? How can I relax myself again when even when I try to just get him to do something around the house to I guess keep him busy, he’s constantly on phone or has a reason to just go outside, even if it’s just minutes I am nervous and fears kick in
I feel like I'm on edge
I’m sorry you’re back in this cycle again. It can be incredibly frustrating when the same behaviors continue, over and over. Please take care of yourself and do what you need to do for your own mental health. You deserve a peaceful space, and you’ve worked hard to get there.
What’s a boundary you can set at this time? What’s something you can say “no” to that will protect your well-being?
Thank you. As far as boundaries go, I have set up some things that he’s not going to do here, honestly when I’m sleeping and he’s not, I guess he doesn’t keep his word, snowstorm will be over by tomorrow, he can leave then.
I just want to be back on my own. He’s blame shifting and trying not to take accountability for things.
I pray I can get back to my place with peace by then. I have so much to deal with as is. Thank you for your response
@Letty14, good for you to be questioning what you can and cannot take from your partner. That is real progress. It seems to me that these situations take time to develop and I know from experience that my determination to hold boundaries wavers from time to time. The Snowstorm, for example, is an environmental situation. You’re going to get back to your place with peace, but maybe not in an absolutely straight line. It’s ok, you’re right where you’re supposed to be.