It feels so selfish. How do you make sense of "addiction as a disease" for yourself?

#1

My brain knooows that addiction is a disease, and still it can feel so selfish.

#2

I feel the same way, itā€™s such a conflicting thing to think about. I understand that addiction is a disease, requires treatment and can cause someone to make irrational choices maybe to avoid getting sick from withdrawal. At the same time though is there a line to be drawn where the negative choices that are made could have been avoided and are unnecessary? For example if you are stolen from or lied to, it feels like a selfish act. I donā€™t believe the addiction forced them to do those things but certainly played a very big part in the decision. I guess thatā€™s why itā€™s so important for them to have a strong support group and action plan to help them maintain willpower and overcome those hard obstacles. Itā€™s a tough argument, I still donā€™t really know what to think about it. Iā€™d love to hear what others perspectives are on it.

#5

It was crazy when my husband finally got into recovery and he didnā€™t remember so much of the experiences we went though because heā€™d been high or under the influence. It is crazy that the current setup has not addressed what real care looks like and so we the friends and family are there to pick up the slack across the ā€˜care-continuumā€™ without any training or support!

#3

I think the disease idea is helpful to give us room to normalize and bring addiction into the health sphere versus the criminal one. However, it can be disempowering (is that a word?) for the person struggling with it to feel like they donā€™t have the ability to make changes to their situation - which they definitely do!

I think what is most helpful for me (and I think thatā€™s the goal, what is helpful to us!) when thinking about addiction is that there are biological and behavioral components - their brains and emotions are out of whack - and that with new habits the brain chemistry can be changed.

So thereā€™s a part of it thatā€™s like - how do we fix the brain-funkyness enough to allow for behavioral change to take place. And I think thatā€™s the hard part, because it takes time. And without huge social and environmental support over that time (and with a world that believes the 30dayrehabstay is it!) then weā€™re not really setup for success.

I donā€™t know, I just typed that and I think thatā€™s what I believe. What do you think!?

#6

@polly which is what weā€™re on a mission here with Village to change <3

#7

The disease model allows us to look at addiction from a wholistic approach, versus a ā€œmoral failingā€. It can be difficult to separate the idea of addiction as a disease against addiction being a choice, in fact, the ā€œchoice modelā€ is one of the best Iā€™ve seen to combat the disease model. But when we look at the neurobiology (which I wonā€™t bore you with on this post) we see that itā€™s disease of choice. The part of the brain that is responsible for making choices gets hijacked when in active addiction.

Yes, when compared to other diseases such as cancer or diabetes itā€™s hard to factor in the personal impact it has on everyone involved. However, having a brother who struggled with addiction as well as a parent who has gone through cancer treatment I can very easily see the similarities: the impact on the entire family system as well as the need for support from people around you to help you stay strong!

The cool thing is: itā€™s the only disease we can think our way out of, or we, as friends and family, can help our loved ones think their ways out of!

#4

PS. the behavior change stuff is the stuff we can most readily work on, thatā€™s the CRAFT approach and then the protocol CRAFT has around treatment entry gets at that professional / medical help piece.

#8

Thatā€™s a cool way to look at it
The cool thing is: itā€™s the only disease we can think our way out of, or we, as friends and family, can help our loved ones think their ways out of!

I like this! Iā€™d love to hear more about the neurobiology behind it haha :grin:

#9

Thatā€™s what Iā€™ve really liked about the CRAFT methodology. Itā€™s all about what we - as the person who loves this person struggling with addiction - can do to help effect change.
The only trick is itā€™s REALLY HARD (to deal with someone in active addiction) and it takes AGES :wink: but other than that - we have the power!! <3

A note from the Village :love_letter:: Our Coaches are CRAFT certified and uniquely expert in training families to face addiction and get through recovery together. If you are interested in additional support, check out our online CRAFT programs at wethevillage.co.

#10

It took me a long time to wrap my head around this, and Iā€™m still working on it. @Dean_Acton my son used to steal and lie all the time and it was so hard to separate the behavior from the person for me! His addiction conditioned him to not be able to weigh the pros and cons, or see the negative consequences of his actions, but sometimes if he used that as an excuse I get upset and back into the thinking of ā€œheā€™s being so darn selfishā€! @polly the behavior change bit of what you mentioned resonates with me a lot. Itā€™s taken a long time, and he needed the support around him to continually encourage positive change. Iā€™ve found the longer he is away from using substances the more his behavior changes in a positive way. Maybe because his brain chemistry is changing?

I know my son is not the disease, rather the disease is something he has to manage daily for the rest of his life and is part of who he is (along with a lot of other good qualities). And to know I can help him empowers me, I donā€™t feel so helpless. I can also see he isnā€™t being selfish when he isnā€™t active in his substance use, which continues to help me separate him from his behaviors.