Life or Death situation: will my son live through this relapse?

relapse
#1

Worry and fear keep me up every night! My biggest worry is… will my son live through this relapse? He has held a gun to his head several times this month, threatening to pull the trigger IF I don’t give him money to buy more Meth! He is in a constant state of rage, screaming, and cussing at me, his brother, sister in law and his girlfriend too. he threatens and intimidates everybody in his way. He has smashed and trashed my home and drained my account! He is way out of control and says if we call the cops, he will have a shootout with them, and never go to jail again. In the past when he gets “strung out” the only choice we had was the law, but they just send him to Pueblo detox for 5 days then he is on the rampage again. There is NO help here and we have no insurance or money to get him into a decent Rehab. It is a nightmare. I had to tell him to leave my home because I have health issues and I literally passed out the other day from “overload”. So, yes, worry and fear that he will die or kill somebody else is REAL!

Any suggestions???

Diane

#2

I’m so sorry you are going through this, it sounds incredibly upsetting and distressing and I understand why you passed out from “overload”. You are undoubtedly overloaded and burnt out from all of this chaos. Long term meth use can lead to violent and aggressive behavior, confusion, delusions, paranoia, psychosis, and suicidal thinking. He certainly needs professional help, and if you can try checking out SAMHSA Treatment Finder - they may have resources for state funded treatment.

My biggest concern here is safety, for you and him (and others). Because he is so verbal about you not calling the cops it may be a good idea for your safety to call them, or even go to local police station, when he isn’t around as a way to prepare and protect yourself. Tell them he has a gun and is under the influence of meth and you fear for his life and others. Give them details of his history so it’s all documented. It’s always better to be PROactive versus reactive and scrambling for help in the moment. The Family Violence Helpline could be a resource that could help you (800-996-6228) and your family.

It’s probably a good boundary you set telling him to leave home at this point - it just doesn’t sound safe. Knowing your limits is part of being aware and having reasonable expectations - this allows you to work with your family instead of being surprised and shattered by them. The conscious act of recognizing how much you can stand makes your situation more predictable. Awareness won’t change your circumstances, but it allows you to anticipate what’s coming and plan for it as best as you can. With awareness (which you already have a lot of), careful self-assessment, and practice, you can continue to work on seeing your limits from a safe distance and even use them as guides.

If possible, do your best to find an Al Anon meeting where you can meet other families going through similar struggles and hopefully they can share resources that may be helpful to you. At the very least you won’t feel alone. By reaching out here you are making progress in getting help for you and your family. I know this may be redundant but, again, if you EVER feel you’re in danger or he is a danger to others the best option is to call 911.

Thinking of you and your family and hoping for the best :heart:

#3

This is so hard and scary and my heart and hope is going out to you.

Thank you for sharing. It’s important for us to have a place to share the realities that addiction faces us with so that we can find and create new answers where society and culture has left it in our hands - the Friends & Family. We are the first line of defense.

I don’t have the answers to this one. But I want you to know that you are not alone, we are all here standing with you. And that as this community grows you will certainly not be the only one who has experienced this and that your experiencing and sharing this, no matter how traumatic (I’ve seen trauma too), will help others who follow in your footsteps.

If anyone knows what this is like, or knows someone who might have been through something like this, please share your experiences or as always, help us grow our community here so that we can source the best answers.

#4

Thank you for trusting us with this nightmarish and heartbreaking information, @songbird. Honestly. What a scary experience for you and your family.

Checking in here. How are you? Any progress?

@erica provided a lot of good resources. How else can we support?