Looking for more Self care tips



What are specific ways you work on ‘self-care’ amidst the day to day chaos and worry over your loved one?


I really like Erica’s suggestions above and have tried several of these myself.

I also find that putting whatever self-care items I chose on my calendar helps me to incorporate those things into my routine. For example, I decided to take a comedy class, and seeing it there on my iCal (in my happy color) every Wednesday, made it feel even more necessary and important. Even if I decide a day or two in advance that I will take myself to a movie or grab lunch with a friend, I make a calendar entry for it.

Don’t just leave your self-care to chance or attempt strategies sporadically, but schedule it into your life. Prioritize yourself and the things you need and want.


Hi @cdr, I noticed your comment about how putting things in your calendar has improved your self-care. It’s easy to lose yourself in helping your loved one, but I agree with you that it’s something we need to prioritize! This summer I was inspired by a professor of a class I took called “The Science of Happiness” who used his Google Calendar to schedule even the most minuscule things, like a 1-minute plank, into his calendar. He noted how much it helped him stay on track of his long-term and short-term goals, so I tried it. I had always been a terrible planner, and wanted to find ways to fix that. Taking a few minutes to plan out my week ahead on Google Calendar really improved my goal-attainment and also improved my mood. To anyone who feels overwhelmed, I’d highly recommend it! It’s a simple task that can make a big difference.


Have you ever been on an airplane and noticed during the safety demonstrations the flight attendants tell you if something bad happens to first put your oxygen mask on, then help people around you if they need help? This applies to the topic of self-care too - you can’t take care of your loved ones, support them, or give them encouragement if you aren’t taking care of yourself first. In order to begin helping you need to be in a position where you’re emotionally OKAY so you have the energy to help your loved one.

Think about it: taking care of yourself not only benefits the person you’re concerned about, but is necessary for your well-being and the way you feel, moment-to-moment, on a daily basis - which is really important too!

Here’s a challenge: choose one and do it today.

  • Plan to sleep 8 eight hours tonight
  • Say yes to something you haven’t done before (or no to something you don’t want to do)
  • Move your body and get your heart rate up for 30 minutes
  • Take a bath
  • Go to a yoga or favorite exercise class
  • Practice an online guided meditation
  • Eat a hot breakfast slowly
  • Set auto pay for a bill
  • Clean your bedroom or wash your sheets
  • Read about someone who inspires you
  • Take 10 slow, deep inhales and long exhales
  • See a movie
  • Call someone supportive for a chat
  • Clean your refrigerator
  • Send a thank-you letter to someone who never got fully appreciated for something they gave or did
  • Start a gratitude journal, writing 5 things a day you’re grateful for and feeling how each one makes you feel as you write it
  • Hug someone like you mean it - let them hug you, and really receive it

I personally love the gratitude journal to start and end the day, it helps with remaining positive and optimistic.
If you find you encounter any barriers around engaging in self-care activities I suggest noting the barriers down, for example: “I wanted to go to the gym today, but I was too busy at work and then had to get home to make sure my brother is okay so I didn’t have time.” By making note of what got in the way you can work on moving through those barriers. Ideas for the example I just gave are: try waking up an hour earlier the next day to get 30 minutes of cardio in at the gym, during my lunch break I’m going to go for a long walk and clear my head, if I can’t get to the gym I can download at home workouts on my phone so I feel accomplished in exercising! You can also find a way to be accountable in your self care by getting a gym buddy, finding ways to check in with other supports regarding your self-care plans, sign up for an exercise class that costs money in advance so you have more incentive to attend! These are just some ideas I’ve taken from my own experience.

Ultimately, self-care is a commitment you have to make to yourself (a very important one)! Has anyone else found that taking care of themselves has helped be a more engaged support to a loved one? :muscle:


Things that have worked for me are taking a walk, a hot bath and reading. I’m a tv lover too so I enjoy that escape from reality. It’s also nice if you can find a Nar-anon meeting that you like. Just being with others that are going or have gone through the same things you have is comforting.


This is super relevant to me right now.

  1. Going easy on myself - limiting commitments and not expecting perfection
  2. Acknowledge what’s going on - being honest with myself that I’m under immense stress
  3. Lighten the load - share my concerns with someone who cares and can help out with my loved one
  4. Me time - make time to spend alone and not do anything!
  5. Friends and fun - make time for friends to chat or do something we like, something not related to what’s going on with my loved one at all


Self care for me is having a good support group; getting past lamenting which only gives me heartburn. Haha We all know we can make ourselves sick with worries. Al anon meetings help and a anon reading! Yes detachment with respect! Being thankful for even the smallest thing and when very difficult to be thankful, I start with being thankful for my toes, fingers…! This is usually distraction and gives me the ability to refocus!
Thank you all for sharing your thoughts!


A little reminder as to why self-care is so important:


Reviving this topic!! Lots of great self care tips here and with lots of self care conversation in the Community lately, I think it will be helpful to bump back up to the top. :up::raised_hands: