What are your thoughts on this past year? What went right? And how are you moving forward in 2024? Please share your resolutions, your goals, your intentions, your “word” for the year here.
Also a warm welcome to our December newcomers! @jpax4141 @mprem @Rjett @Alexas628 @Lindseybehlman @treasuremarlo @Stephdangerfield @blessed101 @Rmdonovan @Kharish We’d love to know where you’re from and what brings you to the We The Village Community. 
Happy New Year, We The Village! In 2023, we completed our Family Support Study, and I was able to connect with dozens of community members here who are all going through the same thing - loving someone with SUD. I know it can be really tough to share and hear stories where we often feel stuck or hopeless. But there was definitely hope within the Peer Groups.
Tagging our groups here - I hope you’ll join in and update us on how how your year went and what’s next for 2024!
@PeerGroup1 @PeerGroup2 @PeerGroup3 @PeerGroup4 @PeerGroup5 @PeerGroup6 @PeerGroup7 @PeerGroup8 @PeerGroup9 @PeerGroup10 @PeerGroup11 @PeerGroup12
I’ve been thinking about my word of the year, and PROGRESS keeps coming up for me. I’ve said “Progress, not perfection” about a million times this past year, but I think I really do need to slow down and apply it to all that I’m working toward. Continuing to make small changes in my daily life, forgiving myself if I slip, and knowing that it’s those little behavior adjustments and shifts in thinking that end up making a big difference. 
I really needed to read this tonight. What a year this has been. From the deepest depths of despair a year ago, to taking some terrifying steps, setting boundaries I didn’t dream I could put in place… to eleven months of mostly progress, mostly sobriety, until today when I was shocked to see the demon staring me in the face again. Eyes are not right, words are slurred, and my son completely denying that he used anything. And my own anger as terrifying as the despair last year, as I faced him down. I reminded him that it is my perception, not his denial or even admission that will determine when the line has been crossed. And that today it has been crossed. I began to expect perfection. And for me, there isn’t much room for stretching the boundary. After seeing this post, I took a deep breath. I didn’t convey this message. I just asked him if he had any doubts that he would be out the door if I even suspect he is using again. ( That one impossibly painful, difficult night almost a year ago when I made my son leave and wouldn’t let him come home until he checked in to a rehab center and went through detox, convinced him that I was strong enough to do it.)
We have plans for the immediate future. He will start training to be an EMT and then Paramedic., in less than two weeks.
But he needs a year of sobriety and we are almost there. Is this one imperfect night, or the fall I have been so fearful would happen? Was it because we took Communion together on Christmas Eve, when he had a taste of wine? Was it the disappointment of his adult kids not seeing him at Christmas? Have I missed prior times that were warnings?
This is strike one, two and three all in one night. Because I told him if I suspected substance abuse again, the sanctuary of home is gone and he has to leave.
Progress, not perfection. So much progress has been made. But I allowed myself to enable years of abuse, and I know that the enabling stopped a year ago. I can’t let it begin again. Now I know what clear headed sobriety looks like. It has to be back tomorrow, or this “safe house” is closed. Please send me positive thoughts!
Happy New Year! All in all, I can say that my husband & I have both grown a LOT this year & for that I will be forever grateful - this community, @momentsandlight, @Thinkstet, & @PeerGroup8 were definitely factors in that growth so thanks to you all! Things aren’t perfect & that’s okay. It’s hard to type this today as we face some bad news personally & from family but we’re facing it together, stronger as a team, & that’s all I can ask for.
Dear @Alair- I hope you can find compassion in this situation. I hope you can honor your boundaries and hold onto the truth you’re requiring in your house. As for your son’s sobriety- it’s his to have- you can’t control it, you didn’t create it, you can’t change it. But you are constructing a way out of it through a dialogue with your son, through your connection with him. You are teaching him that we are all learning every day. There will be missteps, resets, field research, slips, whatever- the important thing is owning them and taking the next right step and as quickly as possible.
Praying for you and yours! Happy new year!
Happy new year, @Alair and @va.ra. These bumps in the road (or sometimes major, destructive potholes) can be so discouraging. Like a big bowling ball smashed through the window when our house is already being blown through a storm. That’s often how I think of these kinds of situations, anyway. The storms pass, and all we can do is hold on to our truth in the moment. This too shall pass.
Be gentle with yourself, @Alair . Just like our loved ones slip, so do we. And we get right back up and keep going. Progress, not perfection. Sending love and positive thoughts your way! How are things going today?
2023 was a tough year for me. Joining the study was also the best thing I could have done. Right off the bat, I was “informed” that I could NOT fix my StepD. Big shock and it took me several weeks to finally begin to accept that. My stress was over the top and with advice from many of you, I got myself a counselor who is helping me change my mindset and adjust my expectations. I am truly blessed to have experienced the honesty, willingness to share your stories so that I could learn that my problems were no bigger than everything everyone of you are experiencing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart