Share your Weekly Wins & Worries 10.24.18

#1

What’s your current state of mind? Wins, Worries, this is the place to freely share what’s on your mind this week. We’d love to hear it!

And remember, you never know how your share might help this week! :slight_smile:

#2

Making a weekly Win/Worry entry early cause I need to just release. Thanks up front!

Last night in a conversation, my son just doesn’t think he has a problem. While I appreciate his honesty and he does value our relationship (I am his one and only family aside from my mom) I gently said with a soft tone of voice: “what I have seen over the years and sense is that you do have a problem”. He will be off house arrest this Saturday, is 28 yr old, was homeless prior to house arrest as he did not value his friends rent and uncles renting house being first time out of my home which didn’t last a year. I cannot share this just yet with my fiance, my best support, as it will PSTD him and we all know the look of “I told ya so”, and I feel shame as it is my son bringing “blugck” into our world and continuous “yuck” that those with addition bring to families. While I did know this prior in my heart and prior to the conversation that he would go back to something. I barely held hope on him being “one and done” in the addict life (alcohol with some pills). I know most have more than one episode of addiction. I know what the future holds for him and for me on this path. Just saying - I really don’t like it in a very loud way in my own head! Next step: collect myself, write up new boundaries, review boundaries prior to Saturday and release. Thanks for listening!

#3

Thanks for sharing <3 I know how frustrating the repetitive cycle can be and how much it hurts to watch someone we love hurt. Take deep breaths and remember to take some time for you ahead of your Saturday release if you can!

#5

I’ve been nagging this week. I acknowledge it and I’m trying to stop but every time the words coming out of my mouth are not the positive, light and supportive best version of myself. My husband relapsed last week and I know I should be being more supportive but I’m a bit overtired and reverting back to old habits.

Stating the intention to do better here to get some accountability from you all :slight_smile:

Focusing my intention in two parts:

  1. I need to catch up on sleep and rest and get myself back to balance
  2. Then I can be more reliable in being more thoughtful and supportive with my husband
#4

Thanks for sharing @Marie_Marie. Give yourself permission to feel your feelings. You’re allowed.

And love that you are planning your best next steps.

Thinking of you this week.

#6

Oh - and importantly - need to apologize for being mean. It’s easy for my husband to feel like he’s the bad guy given his addiction past and the residual pain that’s put me through. I need to be better at taking responsibility for the pain I cause too. (Note to self :wink: )

#7

Win: This week I booked flights & accommodation to visit my extended family over the holidays! My husband, sister, and dad will all be coming, too. This will be the first time in several years we will all be together for Christmas.

Worry: Even with the holidays being months way, I’m already running this dialogue in my head: What will it be like for my dad? And without mom there? Will he behave strangely? Will I be embarrassed? How can I set myself up for success to stay supportive (and not lose my patience!)?

Commitment: Re-starting my meditation practice now, so that I have the practice and routine in place come holiday time.