Should I reach out to his parents

[jsb145ae]

I haven’t posted a question in a while because things have been going pretty good for me and my fiancé. He has been in recovery for alcohol for a year now, completed a 4 month program. He has had a few slip with drinking this past year however nothing consistent. In April he started taking a prescription of low dose Naltroxone for cravings. We talk everyday however last night I didn’t hear from him which is not like him. I reached out and I still have not heard from him. What should I do next?
I’m just angry because he’s been doing well I’m praying he didn’t drink last night .

[Mariaarias28]

so you haven’t called him or gone to his place ? That’s something that I would do but that always ends up bad because he ends up doing what I thought he was … it’s so stuff

[jsb145ae]

I’ve called he ended up contacting me but that was after a couple of days of silence. I was right in feeling something was off he admitted to drinking. Whenever he relapses he shuts down and doesn’t talk. It’s pretty tiring because to me shutting down not responded for days or until you want to us emotional abuse.

I’m taking care of my mental health this weekend because last week was spent nervously wondering if he was ok . I’ve been walking this road with him for some time now and I’ve picked up on certain patterns and behaviors that he displays if he’s relapsed. I hate that I was right about it because he was doing well.

[momentsandlight]

@jsb145ae That’s awesome that your fiancé has been doing so well! How is everything going today?

I’ve had so many moments when I haven’t heard back from my husband, or a certain behavior triggers my old fears, and my head just starts forming its own narrative on what it could all mean. When I get in those moments, I have to remember to ground myself into the present. My thoughts have a way of creating false truths, which turns into me texting or calling him over and over again frantically just for peace of mind. I’ve had to learn to be able to find that peace within, instead. A prayer, a meditation, a simple gratitude practice in the moment can help bring me back to reality.

Communication with my husband has also helped so much. He would start to get tired of me constantly texting him because he felt like I was keeping tabs on him, like he was on a leash. And I had to explain to him what I would feel when he didn’t respond to calls or texts. We had to understand where the other was coming from and find ways to support each other in those moments with empathy and compassion.

Thanks for sharing here. Let us know how you’re doing!

[Jane]

@jsb145ae I have so been there - thank you for posting your question. Ugh, tough feelings with the radio silence.

Couple conversations going on about relapse lately - you might find this one helpful too

“Found” a pill in his bag

Hi @Pasta - thanks for your question. I know it’s been a little while since you posted, how are things going now? Firstly, it can be helpful to reframe slips and relapses as an indication that something is not working. With this reframe we can get curious about what might not be working. We can assess, what was working before (if anything) and what is not working now? And we can take the slip as an indication that more support is needed. So we can start moving into conversations around: What ad…

Your question made me wonder if you could have a conversation with your fiancé about what was going on in the lead up to the slip and how best to get back on track? It can be helpful to have these conversations after the intense feelings of the slip have passed. And it could give you both clues as to how to avoid it in the future and what might be helpful in the future.

Have you expressed to them how you feel with the radio silence? I’d also love to know their response to: how would you like me to respond if that happens again (meaning the radio silence)?