It goes round in circles when they’ve been drinking. What are the top things to say - even when you’re mad - to get them to chill out and pause any real conversation for another day?
What are the top things to say to avoid having the conversation with them when drunk?
ashleykm3
#2
Hmmmm. This is a tough question @polly! I think my immediate response would be something like:
I care about you and I am here for you. I want to be able to listen to each other, and would like to pause this conversation until a later time when we are both in a better place to do so.
I like this, because it doesn’t point any fingers, and sets a tone of clarity for what to expect.
katie
#3
I read this question yesterday and decided to come back to it because I was trying to transport myself back to this situation in my mind! I think, for me, it’s not so much circles as it is nonsense - and either way, hard to deal with! I think the way I’ve dealt with it in the past is kind of entertaining the nonsense (instead of trying to have a sensical conversation) (…maybe not the most compassionate response!) or just physically separating myself from the conversation by going to another room or going home.
dbfbilly1
#5
Hard as it is, my advice would be to not react. Have a “poker” face and don’t engage in conversation when they have been drinking. I say this from learning from the mistakes I have made and wishing I had it to do over again.
polly
#4
Thanks for coming back. When I can’t leave the apartment and I want to maintain connection I think next time I will just try to be sweet and entertain it.
Why not try something new right?
It’s not hurting me (his behavior) unless I let it - especially in this case because it really doesn’t happen often and I know he feels bad about it (puking the next day!)
But it was a shock and it’s hard to react mindfully when caught by surprise!