It’s so easy to forget that we need to remain connected with our loved one as they are going through this intense process so as to avoid them from experiencing any feelings of isolation. Are you doing anything specific that you have noticed has helped your loved one feel supported?
What are you doing today to better connect with and understand your loved one who is struggling?
So I have two children in recovery 30 & 27. I have always stayed connected, with them but now , whats changed is my connections are to see if they are high, safe or even alive its to see what , where and who they are in there lives . Of course your always on guard , but we as loved ones cant stop living, we have to keep on living , showing them what life is supposed to look like.
The most important rule, to try to remember is … (especially when in recovery ) is to be honest, if we are worried because maybe they are late, or not answering there phones, or what ever , be honest, Hey I was worried about you , . You can not expect your loved one to be honest with them , when you can’t be with them.
ashleykm3
#4
@Kris_Perry_Long I really appreciate you checking in with your older children— although they are now adults, family is forever. While it is important to let your children be independent, you are doing the right thing by reaching out to them every now and then and expressing your concern. Honesty opens that pathway for connection, and is a short cut to healing.
polly
#5
I’m giving him some breathing room, letting him recover from a sleepless night. And just being here, present. I’ll be here to talk when he’s ready.
I also shared some of the recent struggle with friends that also care. So they know to look out for him a little more right now.
erica
#6
Being mindful of the way we interact with our loved ones when trying to connect with them is really important. A normal question, “How are you?” could be interpreted by our loved ones as “How are you?” and put them on the defense. The tone in the second one (which I know you all can’t hear because it is typed 
) can potentially lead our loved ones to interpret, “They’re calling to ask if I’m still sober.” Our loved ones are not just struggling with substance use, they’re also dealing with difficult work situations, relationships, feeling pride in their recovery, etc. So, finding other ways to connect with them that specifically addresses other aspects of their lives can help them feel more encouraged and motivated.
I reach out to my brother who is in recovery daily by sending him a funny meme or GIF via text. We stay connected and he appreciates that I reach out with fun “content”. I’ll also send him pictures of our family dog that I know makes him really happy. This allows us to connect and helps him to continuously recognize the great parts of life. It’s also never a bad idea to have a good belly laugh!
Julie_Smith
#8
I try not to focus on whether my son is staying off the drugs … he is on MAT (suboxone) which means his life is more stable, but in his case, does not mean he is remaining sober - the medication does tend to counteract the effects of the high from his drug of choice. He visits a clinic once or twice a week right now which is trying to get him on a more stable path.
Rather than focus on that, I have some other interaction with him instead and may talk about politics or share a joke. Recently, he suggested going to a motivational speaker who includes addiction recovery in his talks, and my husband went along with him. My other son has spent time with him cooking together.
It is not easy. My tendency is to be sad that he keeps relapsing, but there are other signs of progress.