My son has been drinking for days. He gets sober enough to go buy more vodka then drinks again day and night. We got him to go into a detox and then rehab program last year but once out went back to drinking again. He will not let me take him anywhere again. I am afraid he will die.
Oh my friend I’m so so sorry I too I’m stuck in the same situation you are but it took two huge bottles that almost killed him one night right before he was scheduled to go into detox he decided to have one hell of a time while that turned into a hospital visit and a coma for a full day I took pictures of him pictures of his room pictures of the tubes going down his nose and that was enough to stop him even though he is having slip-ups but nowhere near as bad as it was my son was drinking 2 pints of whiskey a day for 10 years I picked him up of the ground beat up tried to find him for hours I understand your pain this isn’t an easy situation by all means now that my son is sober I am messed up I don’t know how to not live like that it’s too good to be true take him to your nearest emergency room and tell them he needs to be detoxed wait for one more message.
Please Google Casey’s Law not sure where you live but there is a law where you can force him to go into treatment by court order and if he doesn’t follow up he can go to jail that’s the steps I was going to take before everything happened but I found out I wasn’t in one of the states where the law was legal just Google Casey’s Law hopefully that will help you my friend God bless you you are in my prayers.
The other thing I wanted to say is I even went as far as going to all the liquor stores around my neighborhood with a picture of my son telling them to not sell to him and they promised they wouldn’t and they didn’t that helped a whole lot.
Multiple pictures of my son at different locations one at each I mean that way they know who they’re selling to I went in and I told them that my son was going to die if he kept drinking and if they kept serving him I was going to turn them in and they all said no problem now my son can’t go to any liquor store nowhere in a huge radius around my home that has really helped that’s one of the biggest things that’s helped.
Now when he has a slip-up that’s what @erica wants to call them not relapse slip-ups is slip-ups consists of a 3-2 beer or a couple that’s it he can get that from 7-Eleven. Now he don’t even do that because as we both know three two beer gives you a headache.
I’m so sorry to say it took the suicide attempt to actually make him want to stop on he saw the pictures of the ambulance in front of my car and the tubes down his nose and the thing holding his throat open so he wouldn’t swallow his tongue plus the nurse told him his liver was on the edge of being damaged but if he quit now he would be okay all those things are what helped my son even though he’s still struggling a little bit.
Even though it didn’t work out the way I hoped it would for me and my family it’s still worked out in its own way rock-bottom saved my son’s life I hate to say that but it’s true
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I don’t think there could be anything worse than watching a loved one suffer and not be able to help them.
The toll the families pay is sitting patiently and hopelessly and trying to maintain love and hope.
The only thing that I can even begin to think to say to offer you some peace and perspective is that millions of people fight addictions – especially with alcohol – and come out of it.
Some don’t. I’m sure that’s the front of your thoughts every minute of every day. And I can’t take that fear away from you.
For examples that may offer hope, you can go to websites that contain quotes. Search addiction or recovery. You’ll read candid, horrible stories. You’ll read stories of people waking up in hospitals and jails and strange places. You’ll read stories of people crushed and broken and feeling alone. But you’ll read stories of people who reached out for help at those points. You’ll read stories of people who, after enduring things that you or I can’t begin to imagine, decide to care for themselves.
One example that I appreciate as both encouraging and terrifying is the musician Eric Clapton. He suffered deeply with addiction for 30 years or more. But he woke up. And he came around. And he got sober. And he has remainder sober for decades. There are many who had given up, car wrecks and run ins with the law, divorces and estrangements. But one day he stopped.
I hope you can picture yourself on that day, and the hug and the warmth that you will feel and hold that picture close in your mind. Hang onto it for the days which are bad and when you’re feeling hopeless.
In our family, and this isn’t preaching or even a suggestion it’s just an example of what we’ve done, we reached out to help, share and serve others. I hope you can find a group in your community that you feel comfortable in. Sharing does different things for different people, but I think most people find it very helpful.
I hope you feel love from this group, I hope you feel cared for, I hope you feel like you can say anything here and be OK. No one is going to judge you here. What you’re going through is terrible and it’s OK to share that.
Prayers for all.
Hey @Kim. Just want to check in here. How is your son doing? How about you? We’d love to be able to support whatevers gone on the past few months.
My son continues to have his good times and bad times. He stays sober for a while but then goes back to his drinking and getting very sick again. He was with a great councillor for a couple months, who helped greatly. But stopped that also. It seems he is uncomfortable with being happy, and then focuses on all his resentments and anger towards himself. Then has to turn to the bottle for relief. It is hard to watch. I keep praying for his recovery and try to focus on the real and wonderful person he is when not drinking.
I don’t know why you have been given this heavy burden. All I can say is that my son’s heroin addiction really pushed me and my family to get our acts together. We are closer, more loving and stronger today because of it - not that it is a path I ever wanted, and I hate to see my son less than 100% well and happy. That is always a source of sorrow. But I’ve learned to live my life in a healthier way and to treasure the little moments of happiness, and to look for them. I guess it’s because, why should my son want to work so hard to get better, unless life really is that great? I think life really is that wonderful and a precious gift, and I try to live each day remembering that. This is actually a shift in mindset for me from my earlier years when I was in more survival mode - really, not that different from how my son is living now. Now I appreciate a lot more things that I used to take for granted. I send you lots of love and a hug. I hope you and your son find your joy again.
@Julie_Smith so insightful thank you for sharing. I agree, it has made me search deeper in myself as to how to be joyful every day too. Still working on it - every day
@Kim it’s great he found something that did work for him (that counselor) it’s often helpful to lean on what has worked in the past. Is it possible to re-engage some of those things?
I have the same situation. He stops anything that may make or allow him any happiness. My heart aches for him.
Update: Well in March he got so bad we had to tell him to leave if he was going to drink himself to death. For the first time ever I truly meant it. . He must have realized it and detoxed, went to a doctor and started IOP. So far so good…I’d say never give up hope. But sometimes you have to give them up to get them back. Thanks for being here and sharing stories and hope.