What ways can we help our loved ones relax without substances?

self-care
support
#1

We know here that we can help our loved ones change their behaviors one small step at a time. It’s a lot to ask of us as we become more like a coach at these times and shoot we’ve got our own stressful days at work and responsibilities and self-care to take care of. Still!

It’s a good reminder. And I’d love if you’d help me brainstorm (for your loved one and mine!) What are ways we can help our loved ones relax without substances?

Every day, hour, minute, we can substitute a positive and healthy alternative to using substances can set us on the path to positive change <3

#2

This really resonates with me @polly. Last night my brother (in recovery from heroin and fentanyl for 3 years) was feeling LOW. Job stress, family stress, living situation, it felt like it was all coming down on him. He expressed feeling very upset and here I am, with all this knowledge, feeling a little responsible to help out!

He said he felt he wanted to use for the first time in a long time. This is what I did: I made him stand up, put the leash on our family dog, and told him he was coming with me for a walk because I wanted to pick up dumplings and needed someone to stand outside with the dog while I got the dumplings. For the first block (NYC living :slight_smile:) he was just walking next to me not really engaging. It wasn’t until we literally turned the corner onto 2nd avenue from 1st avenue that he started to smile. While we were walking we talked, and when I went inside to get the dumplings I made silly faces at him, and our doggy, and by the time I got back outside he was laughing and his whole demeanor had changed. In this instance, encouraging (or forcing in a loving way) him to go outside and get some fresh air, and walk with me and the dog helped him relax, and by the time he got upstairs he felt so much better.

There’s a saying in recovery, “Move a muscle, change a thought”, and this really resonated last night. Getting up and moved helped both of us, how have others helped their loved ones relax without substances?

#3

So very true @Erica, our thoughts govern our feelings and behavior follows. If someone wants to use, in support, one must change the outcome of his feelings, the addict behavior. Kudos to getting him out and about!
As for me, whenever I reach outside of myself for a fix I exercise, read, or talk to someone to acnowledge my behavior and chage the outcome of said feelings and ultimately false thinking patterns. Anything that provides distraction will help channel that energy elsewhere!

#5

When my dad got out of rehab, he took up hiking pretty seriously. Doing 2 hikes per day with his dogs, or a casual 8 mile hike on the weekend with his trainer, etc. In the past few months, he’s stopped hiking as much. One of his dogs passed - the more active one - so he’s less inspired.

Now when I go home to visit, I suggest to do a hike together (or at least a walk into town!) to get him moving, and it always seems to ‘remind’ him that he likes this as a hobby/activity. He hasn’t really gotten “back on the horse” on his own initiative, but I do see a direct correlation between "move a muscle, change a thought."

#4

Thanks, @Ram! And kudos to you too, love the idea of channeling the energy elsewhere!