What’s your current state of mind? Wins, Worries, this is the place to freely share what’s on your mind this week. We’d love to hear it!
And remember, you never know how your share might help this week! 
What wins and worries are on your mind this week? [2.6.19-2.13.19]
polly
#2
Worries: Husband’s drinking is bothering me. Wishing that wine bottles were made in 1/2 sizes and that was the norm. Or that he’d stop drinking. I’ve been busy doing things that light me up. I think if I were around more he’d drink less but I feel like I’ve put me stuff on hold for so long. Tough one.
Worries: Woke up at 3am last night to an empty bed (not unusual). Struggled a bit in whether to go looking for him. Decided to get up, found him in the middle of the kitchen, standing, looking down and swaying side to side, rubbing his hands. Instant trigger taking me back to his active use. I asked what was wrong, and he noticed me there and said “nothing, just thinking.” Is he using again? All other behaviors point to no. I will ask him about this later, why he was just swaying there, and tell him about my fear. He does sometimes just fall asleep standing up.
Win: Joining this community! And yesterday, when I sent my husband an article about CRAFT, this text convo with him (the first text is him quoting the article):
Jane
#4
Ah love this! 
thanks for sharing. I’ve found it so beneficial for communication about addiction also! It’s a huge WIN!
polly
#5
OMG I know what you mean about waking up to an empty bed. Last night was the first night my husband slept in our bed in a couple weeks, well he got into a habit of falling asleep on the couch and coming to bed early am. It was nice to get into bed with him. But bothered me that he’d been drinking…
@polly the sleep issues continue to be something we’re struggling with, drug use or not. He’d usually fall asleep in the garage and come to bed around 5 or 6am. It’s getting better, sloooooowly. Hey your husband actually got to bed - there’s a win!
polly
#7
@momentsandlight zomg what is it about the 5am-6am come to bed habit - gah I hate it.
Also good sleep is proven to improve happiness on a 51 point depression scale by 6 points, guess how much anti-depression medication shifts things - 1 point! (read in Lost Connections by Johann Hari! also author of 'Chasing the Scream: The First & Last Days of the Drug War - one of my fave eye-opening books on addiction.)
katie
#10
Win: Dad is remembering lots of details! I’m working on a fun side project and have a few events coming up this weekend and he’s checked in about them a few times!! Very encouraging.
Worry: Whenever there are typos in his text messages, I immediately go into suspicion-mode, right back to when his messages where incoherent. I worry that I may never be able to just accept a typo at face value. Like, we’re all human! He’s allowed typos!
momentsandlight
#11
@katie yup I hear ya with the typos. My husband’s texts would have caps in weird places because he would be speak-texting into the phone while driving to go get drugs, meanwhile telling me he was “at work.”