For those of us with loved ones in long term recovery, what’s one piece of advice you wish you could give your past self?
Decrease the rush, and the pressure that I put on him and myself. That recovery won’t happen on my timeline and not to rush it. Appreciate the progress in each small step towards healthy behaviors and away from harmful ones.
To my past self - the young mom who was was all alone taking care of her baby and wondering where her husband was - I would tell her to reach out for help. One of the best decisions I ever made was to take care of my own mental health and make an appointment with a therapist. It was my first step toward true healing, and it absolutely changed me and my marriage.
It can happen to anyone, don’t be so angry about what the person has done to you. You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change or get help. Don’t feel dumb for believing the lies. That person will never be the same person you once knew. Reach out for personal help sooner than later so you can handle things better. Saying no is ok.
Thanks for sharing @betcu35. It sounds like you’ve been hurt through a lot of betrayal and lies. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through that. I hope that after all the heartbreak, you’ve been able to put trust back into yourself. And I agree, saying no is ok!!!
Thanks for the message. It was a good reminder to me that I am not stupid for believing lies, and to watch myself for what perceived wrongs another has done to me. It’s hardly about me at all. It made me feel better to read this.
This goes for all of us, sud or not, sibling, partner, child, parent, friend- we don’t stay the same and thank goodness. It is tinged with a little sadness, but if we can stay OPEN to the potentiality of more love, more connection, and more healing we may find more along the way.
Thank you for posting. Have a wonderful week.