Why am I not enough for my loved one to stop drinking?

self-care
#1

“Why??? Why am I not enough for my loved one to stop drinking?”

*Posting on behalf of a Village Community member

#2

This is a question I ask myself everyday regarding my dad. Why did he not love me enough to want to stop drinking and live. I dedicated my life to him, loved him more than anything. Thought he was the one person who would be there no matter what. He passed away at 43 (I just turned 44 last week). I was diagnosed with Lupus and several other health issues last year and I think about him now more than ever because I’m going through this alone, and if he was here I wouldn’t be as terrified as I am right now.

I understand the question. And the anger that usually comes with it. I’ve seen people addicted to many things. Alcohol is by far the worst and the hardest to stop. You need to remember it has nothing to do with you as hard as that may sound. Right now it’s all about alcohol. Why don’t they care about themselves enough to stop? It’s actually a question that’s almost impossible to answer. I think some addicts, once they get down so far, convince them self the world is better without them. They probably believe they love you so much they are going to do you a favor by not being in your life so you don’t have to see them like they are. It’s shame, guilt, self-pity, sadness, it’s addiction. It’s never about the loved ones. It’s only about the drug. I wish you and your loved one the best.

#3

Thank you for your perspective, @Christy_Talley. The past year sounds like it’s been lonely for you with the loss of your dad and your diagnosis. How are you right now?