My adult son was dismissed from his 4th alcohol rehab program in less than a year. He was dropped off with all his possessions at a nearby homeless shelter which is 6 hours away from us. He called his brother to let him know where he was but my husband & I have not talked with him. He talked to someone at the shelter and then left. He has never been in this town and has no friends there. His brother lives nearby but he cannot stay with him or any of his family or friends if he is drinking. Has not been back to the shelter for food or a bed. It has been 2 days - should we go look for him to help him develop a plan or leave him to figure it out on his own? His brother tried to find him the first night to get his stuff and talk with him but couldn’t find him. We have always had a good relationship with him and he knows he can call us from the shelter.
Adult son homeless for first time - should we go look for him?
Hi @Jansport - I’m so sorry to hear your family is in this situation. How are you doing today?
Here at the Village, we believe that the opposite of addiction is connection. I think his making contact with his brother is a sign that he’s still looking to have that connection. Early recovery is hard, and even though he has been to rehab (which is great!), that doesn’t mean he is completely “healed” and can figure it out on his own. Knowing he has your support can help make him stronger during this incredibly challenging time.
What does your gut tell you to do?
@Jansport jumping in here a little after the post. How are things going?
I like @Jacqui’s question about checking your gut, and I’m guessing since you’re asking that it is inclined to see what you can do. I love this line of thinking “should we go look for him to help him develop a plan?” It’s really hard to figure things out on our own at the best of times, let alone make positive changes in the face of addiction to substances so any help we can give can make a huge difference.
It also is important to look after yourself in all of this. Take extra grace, extra breaths and extra care of you throughout this. This impacts us all, when someone we love is hurting.
You might find our CRAFT Course and Coaching programs really useful to help with that “what do we do now” impulse. But in the meantime, we’re here for you here and would love to hear an update to see how we can help <3