Anyone struggle with feeling rejected and no physical intimacy?



I know in New sobriety that hormonally their bodies are recovering still, but has anyone else struggled with desire to begin rebuilding physical intimacy and feeling rejected?
My AH has been on a medication that ontop of alcohol, impacted his testosterone. So he has no physical desires at all aside from cuddling. Despite knowing and understanding, my brain still tries in small ways and when it isn’t reciprocated I feel so heavily rejected. I know this is a me thing and not a him thing and I’m not trying to push him into anything at all. I know I shouldn’t try… but I’m human and have needs and despite all of the struggles we have had, I still love my husband very very deeply. Our relationship was never founded on sexual intimacy, we didn’t even have sex until 4 months into the relationship. But we haven’t been intimate since October and I’m just saddened by how much this has affected our relationship. I know it takes time I just am struggling with my own feelings of worth because of it, which is unlike me. Ugh.


@jpax4141 - Yep. More in long-term recovery than early recovery for my marriage, and tbh I’m too exhausted making sure to communicate everything else that this issue is something I’ve just… left alone for the most part. We’ve talked about it, but nothing changes. I do what you’re doing - keep telling myself to not take it personally, be grateful for every other aspect of our relationship that is good, and try to just remember that there are ups and downs and hopefully things will get better on their own. With everything else, I just have so little energy left to put into this, too. So I leave it be.


We had a talk about it and he was apologetic because he says it’s not that he’s not attracted to me it’s just he literally has zero desire. He’s totally happy with cuddles and back scratches but that’s it. He did go to the Dr on Thursday to have labs done (and his liver enzymes are in normal range for the first time since June I am soooo proud of him), they’re checking his testosterone levels as well.


@momentsandlight - hang in there, pal- and you, too @jpax4141-

@momentsandlight- raising young children takes almost every last drop of our energy in most households. @jpax4141- early sobriety is no picnic either- it’s hard to have so much change - everything gets rearranged.

Hang in there, kiddos! None of us know what’s just around the corner - we might as well wish well. :coffee: :pie:

My perennial recommendation: play cards :clubs::diamonds::spades::hearts:, play some dumb game. Good mulch…

TGIF all.