I was at an event last night with a small group of friends of friends and I arrived after my husband. He was already drunk and clearly (at least to me) more drunk than others. He gets social anxiety and doesn’t know how to attend these events and not over-drink. It’s kind of really sad. He craves social connection but can’t handle it sober. We need to get better at this somehow because inevitably I have to pull the plug and get us out of there early.
Do others face this same situation?
Can your husband admit that he struggles with addiction to alcohol? I was like that at one point in my life, very shy and wanted to have courage and feel a sense of belonging but I felt I couldn’t do it without alcohol. I’ve been sober for a number of years and I am more outspoken now than ever! Comfortable in my own skin 
I don’t worry so much about what other people think, just be my authentic self.
This is such a lovely message @Joanne_Seeberger_Pan <3 I love that, thanks for sharing! My husband majorly struggled with cocaine. And alcohol was definitely over used but not to the dark depths the cocaine was. For 1 year he didn’t drink. And over time he became comfortable again. Our lifestyle isn’t centered around drinking type events but when we do go to them (friend’s birthday dinners etc.) and when there are new people, new people he’d love to meet and connect with, he just completely overdoes it!
We can talk about it after pretty openly. But I think we need to come up with a good plan for the next event. One friend suggested making a drink count for those situations, and /or having a couple drinks before to relax but being conscious about it.
Man as I type that out I feel a bit embarrassed and worried I might be judged for saying that. Man the shame around this stuff is so destructive. Trying to share openly and vulnerably 
<3
Yes! 
Maybe different because my dad and I don’t attend tons of social engagements together, but I can remember feeling mortified at a party he hosted when he was still actively using, or nervous at my wedding when he got up to give his toast. I always feel a little on edge about what he might do or say… even if he’s not high. It’s like a posture (a posture of embarrassment, I mean) that I haven’t yet unlearned.
Thanks for sharing openly @polly! Your vulnerability makes it easier for the rest of us to share openly, too - so again, thank you. 
Yes, I absolutely shy away. He is in recovery. His actions aren’t always reserved. He is a blast. I worry of how others receive him