Does anyone have any experience with post-rehab home plans or agreements concerning your loved one returning home after rehab?

#1

My daughter may be released at 30 days, February 13th. Although her date of return has not yet been set, I have concerns about her return home. I definitely do not want things to return to “as they were”. My counselor has mentioned having a home plan for her return and she, also, advised I should not let her move back in; for which I do not agree. With that being said, is anyone familiar with a “home plan”? Or does anyone have any experience with creating a written agreement to establish boundaries or to deal with future treatment or relapse?

How do I - not share- my loved one is in rehab?
#2

Hi @sammiesame Congratulations on her daughter completing 30 days! That’s an excellent start. I hope that you find her excited to continue a sober path. I have had this experience… my son went to treatment for 90 days… after that he went to sober living with 3 lads from his rehab for another 6 months… then he moved into a general apartment with those same 3 mates- but it wasn’t a formal “sober living” house for the next few years . It worked for him because:
* he couldn’t return to my house- it was time for him to start figuring it out as an adult
* he needed to consolidate his learning from treatment into a less and less restrictive environment
* he needed to be clean in a new environment and the old home town might be too triggery

That being said, it worked for a long time, and then the “band broke up” and things moved along and he did relapse after 4+ years of sobriety - but not at the apartment in question. When he found the apt with his mates (all ex-heroin users) they wrote up a house plan that included details about what the rules would be- what was ok, what was not, what was a punishment (90 meetings/90 days) and what were grounds for expulsion. How they would split costs, etc. As parents we were all in cahoots with the boys on their plan. We were mainly the facilitators, i.e, helped with costs, but we did not get involved much more than that.

I hope that helps. :four_leaf_clover:

#3

@sammiesame I think this is very smart to have a “home plan.” I wish we had something like this when my husband got back from rehab. We never had anything in writing, but eventually did communicate boundaries and agreements after working with a couples therapist. One of them was that if he slipped, he couldn’t be alone with our son until he passed a clean drug test.

What does your “home plan” look like, and how/what is the process of creating that?

#5

Hi @sammiesame - Great idea to have a plan that everyone can agree on and refer through early recovery. It’ll be a tough time for sure and laying out boundaries at the start can help avoid conflict based on miscommunication or misinterpretation.

I actually just linked this past thread in another topic, but I think it would be helpful here, as well. It’s a discussion that addresses post-rehab life and offers tips for loved ones. Hope you’ll check it out and maybe it will spark some inspiration for you:

#4

We do not have anything drafted yet. I will keep you posted when I have something drafted.