Fears we won't make while in rehab


My husband just entered rehab for his alcohol addiction. We have 2 young kids and have been together for 13 years. I am reading so many experiences where spouses are leaving their husbands/wives who don’t drink because of rehab. This is so disheartening that I sent my husband off to rehab and now living in fear that my marriage won’t make it. Today he called me the first time and seemed distant. He always calls me his girl and he was off. I understand he needs to focus on himself but why would his love for me (we were together pre alcoholism) just be gone? I’m so sick over this and hearing stories of hook ups. All I do is cry and breakdown. My kids are sad. Rehab honestly seems like a necessary nightmare as it can help the addiction but destroy marriages and families. Should I be prepare for the worst? I hate that rehab ices us out like how dare I be concerned for my husband.


Hello @Keyweez, thank you for sharing and I’m glad you’re here. You posted a while ago but checking in to see how you’re doing today? Is your husband still in rehab and how is that going?

When I was visiting my husband in rehab, it was incredibly disheartening. The first time I saw him after he had detoxed was scary. He seemed lifeless. Everything seemed so impossible because he wasn’t responding the way I wanted him to. I wanted recovery to happen right away. I wanted to go back to a “normal” life immediately. Little did I know that we had a years-long process ahead of us.

There is no need to prepare for the worst. Recovery is possible. It just takes work from everyone - including those closest to the addict. For me, constantly living in fear became this dark place, where I’d create my own narratives of what could possibly happen and those became my truth. Living in these “what-ifs” took me away from the present moment and really messed with my mental health.

How are you taking care of yourself while your husband is in rehab and early recovery? I know it must be difficult with young kids - I had a toddler when my husband was in rehab. Do you have trusted family or friends that can help support you while you find our own support? Counseling, support groups such as Al-Anon, and the Course are all options that would require no more than a couple of hours each week.

Wishing you the best and please remember that recovery is possible, and there is always hope. Reach out if you need someone to talk to!


He has made it through rehab and back home. He was strong and himself when he came out but unfortunately he relapsed within 2 weeks. He let his guard down and gave him. Relapse episode was brutal. He joined an online dating site and made this awful profile about how awful I was when he was drunk. He was devastated that happened and does not remember. He reached out to rehab for additional help and as of today he is spending 6 hours a day in therapy sessions and AA meetings. He also got the shot to help with cravings. I am having a hard time with the self care thing because I work and the duties of my kids. I have a couple of friends who check in but not many. I am in therapy and coming to realization that I can not control his actions just my own.