I’m not sure where to begin, it’s been a really long journey for my husband and me. We’ve been together nearly 15 years and throughout the years have had many ups and downs. All the downs came from alcohol and caused much pain to our family. My husband has now realized he has a problem and what we call a functional alcoholic. He can drink everyday, 6 pack of beer and continue until he’s asleep. We argue about it often and he is now trying to stop. I’m not really sure how to support him but I try to encourage different activities, time spent with our kids or family and none of my suggestions seem to help him. It almost feels like he resents me for having a problem with his drinking habits. He understands why I have a problem but when it comes down to it and he’s really craving a drink, and I don’t agree with his choice he gets really upset and tells me to leave him alone or stay out of his way. It almost feels like there’s no winning in this situation. Either he continues to drink and we are arguing or he doesn’t drink and it feels like I don’t even have a husband. He puts a lot of blame on others for his drinking but never fully takes responsibility for his actions. Im not a heavy drinker and have offered my support in his journey as far as cutting out alcohol completely, but it’s easier for me to completely stop than it is for him so a lot of the time it feels like it doesn’t even matter. I feel like I’m out of options, I don’t feel the connection I once felt with him, I feel so alone. He won’t even sleep on our bed because he didn’t get to drink…and it’s usually the same when he does drink. He says he loves me, he wants to have a better future together and can be quite convincing but it’s so hard for me to believe him due to his actions or attitude towards me. I feel so lost and confused because I want to be supportive yet it doesn’t feel like my support is doing anything good for us. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m losing our marriage. How can I determine what’s right or what’s wrong?
Use this category to ask & share about your physical, mental, and emotional well-being - your personal experience supporting someone through addiction.
Suggested use -
What emotions are you experiencing?
How are you taking care of yourself?