So my girlfriend is in recovery. We had a loving relationship until she mad some mistakes with that and used to battle her depression. She actually had to do jail time, 3 months. This was not her AT ALL. I felt horrible. But, I stuck by her side, even after the mean stuff she said about me. She was sick, it wasn’t her. I checked in with her through her mom the whole time 3 months she was away. She got out in May 2023. Reached out to me July 2023. Came home to my house. For the next month and some, her and I were together but her mental health was bad. She was still in her recovery phase. We had talks about us and other things. She told me things how she appreciated me being there for her through all this and how she always loved me no matter where she was or what she was doing, she never stopped. We were both crying during that convo. A few days after we went to dinner at her mom’s and she decided to stay. We talked… she told me she really needed to work on her mental health. So here we are a year later… I keep in touch with her mom still, I give her the space she needs. We haven’t spoke. I’ll send her a b day and Xmas gift… I’ll ask her mom if my gf will want to go eat, she says “she’s not ready yet.” She left her dog at my place, some clothes, shoes, personal family items,. My guess is she wanted to see where I was with her and once she got her reassurance that we were good, she got the confidence to go to her mothers and do her therapy and psychiatric work (she is a doctor i recommended) and come back when she feels she’s ready. She was in bad shape when she was here, mentally. I think possibly she is afraid that her “issues” could affect us and if something could happen it may be her fault and could affect her. Idk… I feel bad. She was very abused by a lot of men in her past before meeting me. I finally gave her an actually “home” as she would say to me “I always felt like home to her”…. Any input would be great…
Girlfriend in recovery
Hey @Mrmay9th! Welcome to the Village. Thanks for sharing your story. Loving and supporting someone through addiction and recovery can feel really lonely, so I’m glad you found this space to be able to talk about it.
That’s awesome to hear that your girlfriend is making positive changes in her life. And it sounds like you’re being there for her while also allowing her to own her recovery and heal the way she feels she needs, without taking it too personally. I think a lot of times, we as partners of people with SUD often look at ourselves and wonder what we did wrong.
How are you taking care of yourself during this time?
Hello, so this past year I got back into fitness. I lost 70lbs. I changed the house up. New carpets, new furniture, just re did it all. No triggers for her. It’s all brand new. I get out with a few friends that I have here and there. I’m ver scared at times. I do suffer with my own anxiety and stuff. I feel at times her mom just tells me things that I want to hear because no one wants to deal with her dog being here. But I know deep down that’s not the case. If the girl didn’t want to come back eventually, her dog and little bit of stuff would have been out months ago. Her dog is her life. He’s a little chihuahua. Sometimes I can overwhelm her mom asking how she is and such. I feel like I’m being selfish at times. I’m not trying to rush her journey, but a little reassurance can go a long way. I need to just let it go and let it happen on its own. But it’s so hard at night, the mind wonders, your alone.