Our son is 40 years old. He was arrested for downloading child porn. First and foremost we do believe he does not have a problem with child porn. The judge gave him permission to see his daughter and have contact with his neices. My littlest special needs granddaughter adores her uncle He does have a problem with legal porn he just got caught up in something.
The problem is he has already violated probation once as had to to 60 days for looking up porn when that was a restriction. He came back home. He had new restriction no internet unless for work. He is very compulsive and not the brightest person in stupid decisions making. He is also a compulsive liar even the small stuff.
He just had a work phone taken by PO to inspect it. We are now afraid he may lose his job when they find out. We just don’t believe him that he hasn’t done anything wrong. We already told him one more screw up he would be gone. This has tore apart us and his sisters. He has supervised visitation with his daughter.We have not been able to see her at all as grandparents for over three years now. It is crushing for us. If he has done something and has to deal with consequences he knows we will not pay for another lawyer, we will not visit him in jail again or send him money. But as a parent when he gets out, how do you deal with him being homeless. We made sure we paid his child support so he would not be behind when he got out, just so they could arrest him for being in the rears. How do you live with this as a parent. I know we will worry about him, but is that worse then the hell we have already been thru
Help for distressed parents
Hi @TamiB - how are you? I’m glad you found this space.
Gosh, this is crushing. I don’t know that any parent is able to get through it easily. There is hope, though. I think holding on to hope is important, and not giving up on our loved ones. Offering support where you can to make sure his children are cared for is huge.
I tagged you in this post by @SoSad, who is in a situation with a homeless son. It can help to connect with others who have similar stories.
We The Village also offers Community Reinforcement and Family Training, or CRAFT, for family members of people with a substance use disorder. You can learn more about it by clicking here. It’s a program that can help you better communicate with your loved one, improve your relationship, and take care of yourself - all things that can help you support your loved one through addiction and, eventually into treatment. Check it out and let me know what you think?