My 24 yo son was kicked out of the house he was living in for the past year (not without cause, imo). He hasn’t lived in my home since he graduated HS due to his substance use, disrespect and verbal abuse. He’s burnt most of his bridges and has nowhere to stay. He has a variety of mental health issues (ADHD, Personality disorders). He cannot stay with me…he will sweet talk me but won’t change nor leave. This is the first time since he’s been without a roof over his head and I’m having a really hard time with it. I’m anxious and feel guilty, but my brain knows I have to stick to my boundaries. He is very manipulative. He calls me throughout the day, mostly complaining about his situation. I listen to him until he gets nasty or manipulative and then I tell him I’m ending the call and then I turn off the ringer, usually until the next day. I have told him the options he has, but refuses any and all suggestions. I’m really not ok with him sleeping in his car, but at the same time he needs to learn to help himself. I don’t know what to do.
What to do about homeless son
Hi @SoSad, welcome to the Village Community. How are you doing today?
I’m sorry to hear your son is in this situation, and that you’re going through this as well. It’s really hard and there have been many parents in this community who have been through the same thing. I’ll link a couple of the threads here:
Is it wrong to throw out an adult child knowing they’ll be homeless?
How or when is it time to throw them out of our home and even our lives?
^ it’s totally understandable that you feel this way. We care about our loved ones and want them to be safe. It’s great to hear that you’re thinking about your own limits and setting boundaries with your son.
Have you heard of CRAFT, or Community Reinforcement and Family Training? It’s a proven, evidence-based approach that trains family members and friends to better communicate and improve relationships with their loved ones struggling with addiction. When we can better communicate with them, we can better support them and even help them into rehab, while paying attention to our own needs and boundaries. Click here to check it out and let me know what you think?
Also tagging other Village newcomers here who have recently posted similar topics about their children. @TamiB @Jansport - can you relate to any of this? Sometimes it helps just knowing we’re not alone. 