How do I let go of being an enabler



My husband and I have recently split up we both met in an NA program 5 years ago in that time he has relapsed several times and I’ve had to leave but I always go back to him cause I love him and he is very persistent on having me back this time I actually bought myself my own place and I’m determined to not go back until he gets help because he is getting out of control with his anger he has never hit me but I’m definitely scared of him when he gets like that he has been considered bio polar schizophrenic but he isn’t always like that when we are good he is overly nice to me it’s a little overwhelming now cause he has cheated and lied to me under the influence I want a break from him right now to renew my mind and also take care of trust issues I have and the anger issues I have please I need a support group that I can connect with am I doing the right thing by not taking care of him this time around I just am not capable mentally to do it but I don’t want him to fall short


Hi, I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Assuming you’re still participating in your NA program, what does your sponsor and fellow NA’s say to you? I haven’t been in a situation quite like yours, so my suggestion is just based on my own recovery. Have you considered that making your husbands problems your own, might be threatening your own mental/emotional well being and/or sobriety (if that the case I don’t want to assume)? Its okay to still love him but maybe space is whats needed, for both of your healths.


Just because you are in NA doesn’t mean you don’t also belong in Narcanon or Al-Anon. One would think that the 12steps being mostly the same, that the program would be the same. Nope. Go read some online literature or listen to a talk and see if it clicks. Then try an online meeting. This is my humble opinion.