I have known for a little over a year now that my fiancé has been doing meth. I suspect he had been doing it for some time before I caught him. Since then I have tried so hard to stick it out and many times that he said he quit he didn’t and I have left a couple times. He has Been going to out patient rehab for about a month and he absolutely hates it. I have been left with an emotional roller coaster that I am screaming to get off of. My life has become consumed with anger of the betrayal, distrust, the lies. He’s a totally different person than I met. I don’t know how to deal with this anymore. I don’t even know where to begin.
How do I stop feeling so angry about the betrayal?
Jane
#2
Thanks for sharing with us @raybeccca.
Sounds like a good time to prioritize your self-care. It’s great he has the support of out-patient (not so great that he hates it - are there other options you two might explore to support his recovery? Perhaps a 1:1 therapist or other kinds of groups?).
Still sounds like you would benefit from some care for yourself. Do you have any friends or family who get what you’re going through who might be able to step up their support of you?
Are there any self-care activities that help you ground yourself (yoga, meditation, walk outside, talk with friends, a bath) that you could plan to incorporate this week?
Sometimes the best thing we can do is start by taking care of ourselves. Then return to the situation with a bit more energy and objective perspective vs emotion / reaction driven.
P.S. I found it really hard when my loved one returned from rehab. I think the expectations that things would get better quicker and the realization that it would take much longer to recover was hard for me to deal with.
katie
#3
Yes yes yep. It feels so crazy to not even recognize this person who you love anymore.
In the same vein of taking care of yourself, like @Jane mentioned - could you take yourself on a mini vacation? Maybe a friend is going out of town and you could housesit for them? Find an Airbnb for an overnight? Maybe a there’s a campground nearby? I was experiencing a lot of anxiety in the fall and was able to get away for a few days and honestly everything felt different when I got back. A little perspective and space from my normal which was crazy-making.
I hope this doesn’t sound trite because believe me that I knoooow how horrible this can be, but it does get better. It probably won’t ever go back to normal as you know it, but it can get better than it is right now.