How do you deal with no contact?



I have a loved one… we talked about getting married, but obviously not til he cleans up, and we have had very little contact in the last 86 days… He went out of town, away from the triggers, I told him to take as much time as needed, but some days I really miss him & it makes me crazy. Any insight or suggestions or anything would be amazing.


Sending <3 @Sejdi is there another person in your support team that might be able to keep in contact, so it doesn’t feel so hard?

We often isolate ourselves as our loved ones do, but having a little support team of allies can really spread the weight of the worry.

*I married my husband, just recently out of rehab for cocaine addiction and it was a painful few years prior and post! So yeah, I know what it feels like to be waiting and wondering <3


Interesting. @Biancachops just asked a very similar question here. Maybe you two have some wisdom (or sympathies) to share with one another?!


Thanks. I have very little support really… his sister wouldn’t return my calls the last time I tried to contact her & let her know he was in jail. His boss, who is like a brother to him, is really my only link to him, but he tries to stay out of our relationship, so sometimes he’ll talk to me, sometimes he won’t. He’s actually staying with his bosses mother, so I know he’s in good hands. He’s trying to do this on his own, for the last 8 years he’s tried pretty much everything and he was doing really well for awhile. This last relapse was triggered by his best friends suicide.


My bf went to rehab on 10/31 for alcohol & mental illness. He stopped calling a week later - no reason why, just nothing…we’d never gone more than a day of no contact the year we were together. His family said “give him time”. He would not take my calls when i tried calling in. Then his family turned on me & i am the bad guy now…because they think 90 days in rehab & then sober living is too long & it’s MY FAULT for brainwashing him into thinking he needs more help & “can’t manage his drinking like everyone else”. I’ve written a letter once a week for the past 7 weeks- nothing back. Called Christmas night - he was cold, distant, no recognition of who i was, got angry. I don’t know what to do. No one understands why he’d cut me off when i was the 1 supportive, positive, encouraging person in his life. But in my own codependency recovery I’m learning i have to step back & let him do his own journey, his way. It sucks. It shattered my heart. But i just keep praying & am so thankful he is safe & IS working a program. I have no answers, but wanted you to know you’re not alone.