My boyfriend is isolating himself. I tried everything just to keep our relation. One morning he made it clear saying, ‘I don’t see how on earth you don’t leave me. I am not as respectful as you. I am dangerous and literally everything i touch turns into stone. Believe me I am not good for you. I only hurt people around me.’ He sent me a video showing him snorting Heroin. It was awful seeing him this way. He said, “Now you made me do this just to show you how disgusting i am. You will not understand how tortured I am and how hard it is for me to show myself this way to the girl I love. Look I love you but I can’t stand the guilt of keeping you beside me or hurting you.” I told him that I understand that it is not him - it is the addiction talking and it is a disease. Though it might be incurable, with support we can control. I asked him just to let me make sure he is OK and let me see him. He lives in another city. He said we will figure out later.
Yesterday i discovered he unfriended me on Facebook. it is really breaking my heart … I do not know what to do. Should I try again or what? I mean, why did he unfriend me and not block? Why does he keep the Whatsapp, and not block me as well? Very confused. 
How do you deal with rejection?
My suggestion would be to see if he’s really willing to put in all the effort it takes to change. A solid effort to work on improving himself as an addict and do what has to be done to overcome his addiction and live a life of recovery is solely his choice. Rehab surely has to happen with a solid foundation post rehab NA backup with a sponsor. As for any rejection you may be recieving from him you must accept the realization that he’s sick now and needs to work on him first. When that happens then you can see what your life with him may be like. As for now you aren’t even truly visible to him but, don’t let that stop you from helping him get better. If he cares for you you’ll know, if not you’ll know you can support him but, don’t bother with any relationship if he won’t do for himself first. Best of luck and know there is a beautiful life for the both of you whether together or apart.
Thank you @spin45s , it feels much better when you share your worries. I hope he takes this seriously and change. He means a lot to me. The problem is that he is not letting me in , just doing his best to make me leave him.
This is such a good reminder - we often expect our loved one’s to act as though they are well and society kind of ignores addiction but the context is that action is coming from a sick place!
Sometimes when we thought we’ve reached our bottom we find out that it has a bottom. Keep your head up and Pray for him.
@Mona I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this. This is one of those odd anomalies with substance use, where it feels like our loved ones are intending to push us away. However, like @spin45s said, it’s important to remember that he is sick. It’s the illness that’s causing the pain and trouble. Something that I was reminded of recently by @Jane was that reaching out to other important figures that are nearby your loved one for help can lift the burden off of you a little and make sure your loved one is still getting looked after a safe amount. You mentioned your boyfriend lives in another city— do you have contact with anyone else who might be in his network? Maybe informing them of what’s going on will help ease the load a bit for you. <3
This sounds really hard @Mona. What he’s saying and doing must be so hurtful to you. You’re a good partner and friend for caring for him and seeing past the disease.
You might find some helpful answers on this post or this one.
Thinking of you. 
Yes dear, it feels horrible when they push you away. some times confusing when you do not know if you should bridge out to them or do what their addiction wants and give them up. i do not know any of his friends . and I am afraid if i contacted any of his friends or parents , he might get angry and lose him forever. do you think i should talk to him again ?
ohh @katie, you should see me now when you said i am a good partner.you made me feel happy and appreciated. thank you 
.i love to be with him during this awful journey. only if he shows any sign of acceptance. the good thing that he said he still loves me despite the fact that he unfriended me . but he could have simply used the block option’ this is what i tell my self , i guess we girls spend a lot of time trying to decode men specially if they are under active addiction.
@Mona to respond to your comment, I think the question of if you should talk to your boyfriend again depends on how emotionally safe you think you’d feel if you talked to him again. If I were you, I would consider reaching out to your boyfriend’s friends, letting them know what’s going on, but making sure to have them confront your boyfriend in a way that doesn’t point fingers back to you. They can simply check in with him and say “how are you doing”, and just that very question might yield an answer that may make your friend concerned something is wrong, even if you didn’t point it out to begin with. Maybe after you take some of the pressure off yourself, you can revisit talking to your boyfriend again afterwards. And agreed with @katie that you are in fact being an incredibly loving partner. It’s a shame that your boyfriend can’t quite express that to you now, but it’s important to recognize this truth.
@Mona I completely understand that. If you feel like reaching out to your boyfriend’s friends will put you in an unsafe position emotionally, and maybe contacting him in general would, we need to begin to really think deeply about what we can do to help you feel emotionally safe. Remember, in order to help others, we need to be sure we are helping ourselves first 
You’ve been going through a lot and it’s worth it to do a little check-in. Has there been anything you’ve been doing to keep up your mood and your well-being in tact? Even just sharing some of these things can help remind you of how truly important they are.
Dear @ashleykm3 your sweet words really made my day. unfortunately i can’t reach out to any of his friends because i do not know which one to trust , regardless the fact that he has already unfriended me from his FB friends list . And telling the truth i am afraid if i contact any of his friends i will be risking losing him forever if he knew it is me behind. he told me that he is going to my city next week … i can’t stop thinking about suggesting to see him , though even afraid to offer this to him .
I’m sorry you’re going through this @Mona. It’s hard to feel rejection from anyone. One thing that stood out to me is that he seems to be putting you in a position to blame and to feel guilty. Addiction is a powerful game player.
To play Devil’s advocate I’d like to ask you to ponder why you’re rejecting the part of yourself in regards to getting help for yourself but instead putting him and his addiction first?
Have you seen the movie Beautiful Boy? It’s a great movie on addiction. Warning: Many uncomfortable feelings will emerge.
I spent many years putting my ex husband at the center of my thoughts and my actions. Among the many pearls of wisdom I gleaned during my recovery, yes MY recovery (we are sick too) was that one of the biggest ways to express love for the addict was to love myself first. Through self work we learn why we allow things to happen and why we engage in the addiction dance.
I went through the head games for years and looking at your situation through the lense of hindsight I would take his warning to heart and let him reside in his space and not force my way in to it. I’d let him know that I’m more than willing to be there for him through his recovery if he decides to find recovery, but I value myself too much to let him emotionally abuse me.
Best of luck to you <3