I am terrified of him coming home. This is his 3rd relapse and he did it big, wound up being arrested, and left jail to go right to treatment. I am beyond proud of him, but so much chaos and disconnect has happened and our communication went to hell. We have a family counseling session on Wednesday, he is supposed to be discharged on Sunday, but I am so afraid. I feel like part of him is still blaming my reactiveness (after months of being constantly pushed and pushed and made to feel like my feelings don’t matter) for his stress and relapse. I am supposed to write a list of things I want to discuss in the family session but it has turned into a long letter.
Would anyone be willing to help me put my letter into bullet points? I feel overwhelmed right now.
How do you navigate the fear?
I would be more than happy to help put it in bullet points. I am the queen of bullets points when telling my clients what I need from them 
Jewelrydiva70@gmail.com
Or private message you letter if you prefer
Stacy aka @jewelrydiva70
Hi @jpax4141 - Welcome here! I’m glad your loved one is getting help, and that you’re involved in his treatment process, as well. Early recovery while they’re in rehab and when they return is often a really strange, scary time. So many expectations and unknowns. How are you taking care of yourself during this time?
You didn’t cause it and you can’t control it. And while we can control our reactions to a certain point, please forgive yourself for any behaviors that you might have regretted. We are all just doing our best with the tools we have in the moment.
Are you open to sharing your list with the community? I think you might find that others here can relate, too. And please do keep us updated on how the Wednesday meeting goes!