How to deal with rejection from S/O in recovery

relapse
communication
recovery
#1

Hello,

I’m reaching out because I really need someone to talk to concerning my current circumstance. My fiancé got out of rehab for alcohol in mid July he was sober for 4.5 months he relapsed in September. We started going to Celebrate Recovery meetings together in October everything was going great with the CR meetings until about 3 weeks ago. He blew up on me and said he didn’t like the meetings and he wanted to focus on recovery and getting himself together. I gave him his space after a few days he came over and apologized (but was drunk when he came over). He sobered up the next day and was saying he wants us to be together he just needs to take a step back from the relationship to focus on recovery. These past couple of weeks he hasn’t drank but he has checked in via the text and called twice, we used to talk everyday.

I understand the importance of recovery but I feel rejected. He texted me on Thursday and said thank you babe for your support. He texted me yesterday tell me about him being back in town from visiting his family for Christmas. For me the lack of communication is not working and I feel like I’m being pushed away even though he says he wants us to work. I’m angry and frustrated but I want him be sober but I feel like he can at least communicate more. Could someone please give their advice. Thank you.

#2

Hi @jsb145ae,

Thank you for sharing this, so many of us have experienced the feeling of rejection from our partners in recovery too :heart:

Of course you can’t force your partner to change or communicate more. We just can’t make other people do the things we want them to do all the time, unfortunately! Ha. But what you CAN do is learn how to work through your own feelings of rejection and sadness.

Your partner can’t fix your emotions for you, but you can, and that’s the best news ever. Have you reached out for support from a therapist or life coach on this? Learning how to heal my own feelings of rejection, sadness and anger was the best thing I ever did for myself.

And now I’m never worried about what a partner will do or not do, because I know I can handle any emotion I might feel. It’s not scary to me anymore. I know I can handle feeling rejected, and then keep moving forward and refocus on my own life and what I’m creating (business, friends, money goals, getting a new car soon, paying off student loans, etc).

This could be the most beautiful opportunity for you to bring your energy and focus back to yourself and heal whatever needs to be healed within you! :heartpulse: