When you aren’t getting the attention you need from your spouse, because he’s always drunk, how do you keep from falling into others who are giving it to you?
How to stay faithful?
polly
#2
I can definitely relate to this. Though my situation is a little bit different. Being in a romantic relationship with someone who is having a serious relationship with a substance is hard. It takes over and can be blinding when in active addiction, and when in recovery there’s a whole lot of baggage too. It certainly can seem easier to go elsewhere for the desired intimacy sometimes!
My husband used cocaine and porn…a common side-addiction of cocaine addiction. I remember his therapist told him and us that he’d be depressed when he stopped using cocaine and that this has a major effect on his libido as well as overuse of porn not helping cultivate romantic intimacy in the relationship.
The way I’ve coped with this during his first 2 years of recovery has been to downgrade my expectations of his intimacy. I expect just as much care but we have a long way to go in building satisfying romantic intimacy together.
Sandy_Hall
#3
Please don’t go down that road. I understand the need for attention and affection. Only God can fill your needs and longings. Give your loved one time to get better, if it doesn’t happen in the amount of time you are hoping for and you see them not wanting or getting help, then you can get away from them and move on. You are only bringing more problems for yourself if you fall for this.
adewoo
#4
Eventually I left…
Your feelings are understandable. It becomes all consuming and you feel second to the alcohol/other substance. It depends on your personal breaking point. I left after my breaking point. I was extremely ill. I would advise that you leave rather than find attention elsewhere (but that’s up to you of course). I felt the guilt of leaving was and is enough of a burden to cope with. I’m now in a happy relationship since my husband passed (I left 6 months before he passed away) but the guilt is still there. I am not sure how I could have coped that there been infidelity as well.