How to Understand and Manage Lack Of Communication After Girlfriend Returns From Rehab?

[JC0710]

Hello everyone,

I am reaching out for advice from people that gone through similar experiences. My girlfriend has recently completed her short-term rehabilitation stint outside of our state. This was purely her decision after displaying an aggressive and combative side of her I had never seen when she drank.

We had a very rewarding and loving relationship prior to the last time we saw each other, but we also drank a lot of alcohol together that was a precursor to significant issues.

Today, I stumbled on multiple Venmo payments from my girlfriend to her friend with messages that indicate she has been spending time with her. However, she hasn’t even contacted me that she is back from the facility.

She also changed the profile picture on her Instagram to a picture of what seems like fake blood running down her throat and her tongue sticking out as she looks up at the ceiling.

The lack of communication, transparency, and clarification has left me feeling hurt, confused and concerned about her well-being.

If anyone has any insights in what this behavior might mean or how to handle this situation, I would greatly appreciate that.

[momentsandlight]

Hey @JC0710 - it’s great to hear that your girlfriend was able to find support. That’s a huge and incredibly difficult step forward. Early recovery is so hard. Everyone is still very much in a healing process. My experience was a little different than yours - it was my husband who went to rehab so he came home to us when he was done. But I feel you on the lack of communication, because even though we are married, we still very much needed to work on communicating. One of the things that has helped me over the years has been to let go of any narratives that start running in my head about what he might be thinking or doing, and to create space that is safe for openness and honesty.

Have you tried reaching out to your girlfriend? Maybe you can try contacting her and start a conversation from a place of curiosity and compassion.

This is a topic that you might find helpful:

How do I support my boyfriend when he comes home from rehab?

From Village Community member: My boyfriend will be coming home from his first stay in inpatient rehab later this summer. I am trying to “do less” and let him navigate his addiction on his own, as I have learned that only he can motivate himself to recover. However, I want to still support him as his partner. Any advice? Original topic:

[JC0710]

Hello @momentsandlight,

Thank so much for helping answer my question. Interestingly, my girlfriend texted me yesterday saying she is out of rehab and mentioned some of my belongings she found while cleaning. However, she did not mention all items like my toothbrush, contact case, contact solution and protein bars.

She asked when I could pick them up, and I suggested Saturday even though she knew I’d be in town playing a rec sport last night.

She said that sounded great and appreciated my positive response on her return and her progress in recovery.

While I am relieved she reached out, I’m left wondering about her thoughts and feelings. The fact that she’s initiating contact about returning items like a t-shirt and swim trunks does not indicate her intentions about our relationship.

I really want to support her through her journey, yet I’m aware of the typical recommendation in these programs that patients avoid dating for a year.