My husband has been a drug user for close to 20 years with a preference for cocaine/crack. He has been in legal trouble the majority of his life because of this addiction and is currently on parole. He relapses regularly, but I feel like he is trying. He tells me he is and that he has never tried to stop before. We have tried medicinal/therapy recovery but most of that seems to be directed towards opiod addiction, counseling, AA and NA, and cold turkey. He has done multiple inpatient rehab programs and outpatient programs but all court ordered or while locked up. I love him so much and things are great when he isnt using (like right now) but when he does, it feels like someone has stabbed me in the heart. He lies and manipulates, he has made me do things I NEVER thought I would do, we have screamed and yelled at each other and said awful things to one another (mainly me to him.) HELP PLEASE
Husband is a 20 year drug addict with a preference for crack and I dont know what to do
Hi there,
I just wanted to say you’re not alone and what you’re going through is not easy. I am sorry it is so hard right now. I can tell from reading your post that you have a huge heart and so much compassion for your partner. I know this may not be the answer you’re looking for but just know you’re not alone.
What are you doing to take care of you right now?
Much love!
Ayisha
I dont know what I am really doing for myself. I dont really have many friends, I used to go to the gym while he was locked up and loved that but since he got out and has been unable to find a decent job, it is hard paying for the gym membership again.
I appreciate the support. He went 2 weeks this time, and relapsed Sunday. He has this idea in his mind that if I just “let” him use every once in awhile it will be helpful/ “Just let me do $40 worth” and its so difficult to argue or convince him otherwise because his life in the past has been so crazy. He is an ex heroin addict, he has used EVERYTHING so in his mind, using $20-$40 worth isnt a huge deal
Hi! Oh how it hurts when they use. Like Jeckle and Hyde. I live with 3 of them. I’m sorry you are hurting. My best advice is to give yourself some extra TLC. You are in the right direction seeking to help yourself. We all have patterns of behavior that need change. Keep seeking! Hope, love and boundaries. 