My husband of 8 years has relapsed three times since the beginning of this pandemic. This past time, I made him leave our home. He went to two rehabs in early 2019 and then relapsed in October. In my opinion, he never fully humbled himself to the disease or his part in doing the work required to stay sober. He continues to blame me and our marriage for his relapses. He says that I’m a shitty wife because Im not affectionate nor loving towards him. I refuse to let him pin his addiction on me as I think he has unresolved work to do that he misdirects on our relationship. I also don’t know how to be loving towards someone who calls me nasty names and doesn’t appreciate me. He hasn’t worked in 8 years and continues to screw up opportunities with his relapses. I am the sole breadwinner for our family and I’m sick of carrying the financial weight all by myself. He is at a hotel now and wants to come home after he sobers up but he hasn’t shown any chance in his attitude towards drinking and why this keeps happening. I can’t do this anymore. I love him and want him to get better but this is destroying me and I need to stay strong to care for our beautiful 6 year old son and meet the requirement of a demanding career. I feel like I’m cracking up. At the same time, I can’t keep my job and parent/homeschool in the fall. I have already exposed us to more risk and people then I would like because of his relapse. I feel very lost and angry. I see other people living full lives and I just don’t know if it will ever be possible with him.