I feel so distant from my husband in Rehab?


My husband and I met at AA. It wasn’t the typical sobriety romance… he is my person… my soul mate and who i feel like my higher power made for me. Our relationship has been so full of love, trust, compassion and minimal fights. We both always felt so reassured to share for the first time a normal healthy functioning relationship.

3 weeks ago I found out about his relapse on meth. That 3 weeks included 2 trips to the psych ward and alot of misery for both of us. He finally made his way to rehab.

I am beyond grateful and happy… for him and for us. However… i feel so disconnected? For the first few days I felt he was remorseful… but now I just feel out of touch with him? When we talk its awkward… its not “us” – obviously as a person in recovery i know his recovery comes first but i can’t help but feel… resentful? Hurt? Insecure in our relationship? Its strange and I feel like if anybody should be feeling this way it should be him… im so depressed and when he calls its almost like he feels obligated to call and to me he seems cold… im so sad because we really had the most amazing life and I feel like thats gone and I dont know if I should walk away or just stay. I catch myself wondering if he loves me or loves the support…

Just wondering if anybody else has gone through this with a spouse? I maybe just assumed he would be more compassionate towards me and caring of how I’m doing… i feel like I dont even know him anymore and would love some advise.


I’m feeling for you. The ups and downs of addiction and Recovery can really take a toll on our emotions. Maybe he’s feeling a lot of guilt and shame. Maybe he’s still wrapping his head around everything that’s happened in the last few weeks. And at the same time, you are too. Maybe that’s where the awkwardness is coming from. Just a thought. And then rehab makes it even harder to communicate and really feel out how they are feeling and doing. I just want you to know, I’ve been there. I know that feeling where you notice every little nuance and question every little interaction.

My S/O had a slip on alcohol this week. Although he bounced right back to AA and called his sponsor, now I’m losing my mind thinking he’s going to relapse. Every text, comment, call, and I think or try to find some sort of clue that he’s drinking. My mind is constantly questioning whether he really wants this, us, sobriety, recovery. Does he really mean it? It’s awful, so I understand exactly what you are going through. My thoughts are with you. Sorry you are going through this. :heart: