My partner is in rehab.
We have been together for 3 years. I don’t use never have and feel stupid I didn’t see signs sooner. It’s been a dang roller coaster. I have taken space here and there for my own sanity during the active addiction. I placed boundaries for myself and our child. Finally they went to rehab. First week was detox and was getting calls and I just remained supportive. Then they were transferred to rehab and the first week of that I got phone calls. But the last 2 weeks I have gotten nothing. I know I’m in my head freaking out because for years I was the one saving them but I’m confused as to why the phone calls have stopped. Is this my cue that they want me to go away? Am I a trigger for them and they can’t talk to me anymore? Is talking to me to hard for them? I don’t know how this works and obviously just want to offer the best support but if that’s me leaving how do I know that?
I’m so confused
Hi @Mindy16 - how are you today? It’s wonderful to hear that your loved one has found support in you and through a rehab facility.
First off, take a deep breath and notice these thoughts are just thoughts. There is no truth in them, and often when we get caught up in our thoughts they can take us away and turn into their own story that we start to believe. You can’t know the reason behind any of it until you talk to your partner.
I also know after living in years of active addiction with my husband that thoughts spiraling out of control often becomes just how we respond to uncertainty. And there’s so much of it. Learning to ground into present and focus on what I know is true has helped me immensely. A gratitude list is a simple practice that calms me when the “what-if’s” take over. What are you grateful for today?
Second, I’m sure you want to get in contact with your partner to make sure they’re okay. Have you had any contact with the rehab facility? How is the facility involving family members in the recovery process? is there a way you can get an update on how treatment is going and if you’re able to get in contact with them?
Third, keep in mind that early recovery takes up a lot of energy. Your loved one’s brain and body and entire being is healing from the effect of substances, and it could just be that they’re not in the right space to talk right now, and that’s okay. It’s not something we, as people who have not experienced addiction or detox, can fully understand. Try not to take it personally, and take this time to take care of yourself. Just being here and typing it out is a good first step.
Glad you found this space. Please do keep us updated on how you and your loved one are doing!