I think I'm done with my addict husband



I found out a year ago my husband was abusing crack. He said that he wanted to stop and sought help. It has been nearly a year, and he is still using. He was waiting to go in rehab when everything was locked down due to Covid 19. It hasn’t gotten better, he is spending all his money and leaving me with all the Bill’s. I don’t think I can’t wait for this to covid to blow over… I am seriously doubting his commitment to getting sober. I think I’m done


HI @Tara_Connelly_Cannon - I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. Especially since your husband was willing to get help but this whole covid-19 situation has made it even harder for him. It’s hard to find compassion for others when it doesn’t seem as though they’re even trying. One thing I’ve learned about compassion is that it starts from within. I was able to better understand my husband’s suffering only after I looked at my own suffering. How have you been taking care of yourself during this time? What are your needs? It can help to set boundaries, or limits, for what you will and will not accept in a relationship. These boundaries help you define your needs in order to take care of yourself. There is a thread here about boundaries that you might find helpful.

There are also a couple of threads on leaving a loved one - here and here. It’s definitely a question that many of us have asked ourselves. I have had to wonder whether my marriage will truly last. It’s been hard for me because my husband’s addiction has made me lose trust in him. But I still trust his love for his family, and I trust that he doesn’t want to be in active addiction. We both want the same things, and that’s what keeps me going. I hold on to that.

Trust your gut. Whatever path you choose, you will get through it. Sending love!