I'm so verrry verrry verry DONE - any one else been there?

divorce
#1

Upon a ton of reflection today, I have decided, I’ve done nothing wrong, except choose the wrong partner. I’m so sick of words like… sickness… illness… and also being told I ‘don’t understand.’ I understand this: I’m as addicted to fuck ups as much as they are addicted to drugs. I’ve had my own demons, problems, and my fair share of untimely deaths. But… I don’t choose to punish others. And I’m not punishing my kid, who deserves a whole hell of a lot more than the shit life I’ve given him… via my husband, and myself for putting an addict first.

So I appreciate people like all of you, that care enough to waste their time and energy. I do. I’m just not 1 of you anymore. Judge me all you like; I welcome it. But I’m betting 90% of you, after as long as I’ve dealt with this and been damaged by this, I bet 90% secretly feel this way… or will soon. And. No. My husband hasn’t done anything to praise… not for quite a while. So there it is. I’m DONE.

#2

I feel this same way. It is so frustrating when you’ve done everything to help your spouse and they just continue to drain you in all ways without a care in the world. And it’s angering to know as well that they’ve abandoned a child who didn’t deserve abandonment.

#3

I felt this so many times and I’ve learned that sometimes anger is the best motivator of change.
You and your child are your number one priority.

#4

No judgement here. You need to take care of yourself and your family. Living with addiction in the home can be a traumatic experience, and those of us who love or have loved people suffering from addiction have our own healing to do - whether or not we are still with our loved one. Please know that communities like these can be a support network for your own recovery journey, or can provide the resources needed to find more support for yourself in your area. Sending lots of love your way - you have been through so much and you will get through what comes next.

#5

@Oldenufftoknowbetter this is a really tough yet common issue. Over the years, I’ve learned that we attract our subjective self-worth. I’ve had romantic relationships with people who were dealing with trauma and other issues, specifically when I was going through similar issues. It feels intimate to know that your significant other is going through hell too, because then you have something to bond over… as strange as that may sound.

Now that I’m much healthier than I used to be, I’ve begun to attract healthier people into my life. It was so hard for me to raise that bar, but I did it by recognizing what I truly needed first. When we take care of ourselves, we begin to attract that in others. You may decide to stay with your partner, but the only way to know if it’s a good idea is to try taking steps toward healing yourself first (try a therapist, yoga, meditation…) and then see if your values and long-term goals remain consistent with your partners’.

All the best <3

#6

I bet a lot of people do feel this way and it’s heartening to hear you voice your truth. Sending lots of love to you @Oldenufftoknowbetter. :two_hearts: