**Me and my baby’s father suffer from meth addiction he is a smoker and I use IV (. Not in the house ) , when I’m on it I don’t get violent or mean like he does ,i don’t know why it affects him like that but it dosent for me I been using it a lot longer then him and he also is paranoid when he uses it and hears and sees things that aren’t there, I don’t get like that in even stayed up for 5 days And he stays up for 1 day he gets like that 
:dizzy: soon as he has a puff he’s acting weird n talking to him self I tell him not to use it if it affects him like that but he don’t listen to me , and also I become very jelous on it too I’m always convinced he is cheating on me the other day he took off wouldn’t let me go with him and he was having a episode he ran to his parents house from 5 minutes away from the city and freaked them out and he left at 5 pm n got back around 6 am the next morning his dad drove him back here , and he had a shower soon as he got home his dad said he tried to shower there but he wouldn’t let him cause he was pissed off that he woke them up that early and his dad had to work in the morning , the reason he said he wanted a shower was because he was running threw the bush and almost fell into a swamp , his pants also weren’t wet …. After he woke up the next evening he changed .His attitude was bad he was Calling me by my name and not babe anymore . I want to beilive it was just his episode making him like that he been my boyfriend for 13 years our oldest is 14 , he still has sex with me every night if we could he never cheated before and like his dad said who would want him when he’s in that state look how he was acting who would wanna put up with that you even wanted him to leave when he was acting like that I don’t think no other girl would want that I said yah that’s true, and when he came home to have a shower he was talking to him self in the shower and was in there for 1 hour but he always takes long showers so I didn’t think anything of it and he also seems to talk to him self. But where im trying to get is I want to quit and I kind of want to leave with my kids but our two boys the youngest got level 2 autism they both were just diagnosed last month so where waiting for their back pay to come in both is coming at the same time , another reason I wanna get sober too I don’t wanna use my kids money on drugs but If I leave him who will help me with the kids even tho he dosent really help me anymore but I’m just scared I don’t want to be alone I been with him too long . can you share your opinions on what you think I should do please and do you think he was cheating or was it just the drugs ?
Me and my baby’s father are suffering with addiction we still have our kids and I wanna quit for them and he does not want too but I can’t leave him because both of my sons have autism and I’m scared I might have to give them up
Hi @Shannstaar - thank you for sharing your story here. It’s a really brave and powerful thing to do to reach out, to tell yourself and others that you want to get sober, and to seek help in figuring out the next step.
You’re carrying a lot right now - caring for two boys with new diagnoses, wanting to get sober, and trying to figure out how to move forward in a relationship that doesn’t feel supportive anymore. That’s a lot for anyone.
It’s also okay to feel scared about doing it on your own - especially after being with someone for so long. But if he’s not really helping now, maybe the question is less about losing support and more about finding the kind you actually need.
Is there someone close by - a family member or a trusted friend - who you can talk to? Even if you’re not ready to share everything with them, that connection alone can help. Ask to go for a walk or share a meal. Or ask for help with the kids so you can schedule time for a local support group or therapist.
You don’t have to figure everything out at once, and you’re not alone in this.
Hi Shannstaar,
I’m N
I cant recall if were allowed to put own real first names here.
I also have autism and ADHD. My diseases don’t include substance abuse. I have plenty of others. autism and ADHD aren’t diseases; they are conditions. I say this because other people might be confused.
I mention substance abuse because
-
It is so brilliant you are getting clean and sober. My kids had to do that at 15 and 13. Yet they said I’m not the worlds worst mother. I didn’t know I was autism and ADHD back then.
I’m going on about me so you know where i am coming from. I’ve been attending a family support group since then. There are a few. Al-Anon is most easily found for me as there is no Nar Anon in town. Al-Anon has been in this little Australian rural city for almost 65 years now. I also have 3 step children with autism. -
This part is how my brain/mind ( i don’t know what is the right word here and my autism wont let me just say one or the other) Starting again. This part is how my brain/mind works against me. For years i had these obsessions with things that slowed or stopped my recovery and made my life harder than it needed to be. One day i realized this and slowly found a way to stop it. Could your curiosity about about his sexual fidelity to you be something like that? I have no way of knowing.
My obsession also served to punish myself . Punishing myself served no good purpose. It was me being mean to me because I wasn’t perfect.
Guess what? I never will be perfect in my own eyes. I believe I’m already perfect in my higher power’s eyes.
If this might be true for you, it could free up energy you need to focus on yourself and the kids. The partner is a grown up. He can take care of himself no matter what it looks like.
Sometime you may wish to find a family support meeting. You kids may be up tpo an Alateern meeting. I don’t know what else is out there for kids.
I’ll add that the autistic step children are doing reALLY well now. In many ways they are easier than the non autistic kids who tend to get into all sorts of trouble especially the last 3 who had a wonderful mother who homeschooled them. I think it must be hard keeping up with their needs and yours. The thing with all kids but especially autistic kids is we don’t know what they will become. A lot are true geniuses in their fields.
One moment at a time.
Do the next right thing
Take care of you first.
Take what you like and leave the rest.
Thank you for sharing . It is hard but the pay off is amazing
You are a miracle
hugs
N